The Dumb and the Different

***This is an “anger post”, so please be careful while reading this. These types of posts are initiated as a result of watching movies with very high expectations and not getting the needed results. Such posts are rare, but right out the heart without second thoughts, and not suitable for people with the tolerance level of a brainless/braindead zombie always hoping to eat the brains of humans. If you are not such a zombie, please proceed and read. Otherwise, close this tab right now.

Vampire Owl: Is this post brought out of blessings from Werewolf Anger instead of Uncle Dracula?

Vampire Bat: Yes, after watching this movie, Uncle Dracula had to be admitted in the Northern Gothic Infirmary.

Vampire Owl: Oh! I didn’t know that. In that case, please continue! I shall now go and visit him.

I have watched many terrible movies in my life. Just a few days ago, I came across the movie Tamasha on the first day of its release, the first day itself. Even though I liked the idea to be conveyed in the movie, I couldn’t manage to like the movie even a bit just like the others in the theatre, out of which only about ten people could stay until the end of the flick. The movie’s idea, if presented well, could have made it one of the best Bollywood movies of the year, but unfortunately, that was not the case. What I am going to tell you will be easier for you to understand if you watches Malayalam movies. Otherwise, you can either try harder or attempt not to read this.

Another thing about which I wish to be perfectly clear about is that I am not going to accept the comments of the fan-boys and fan-girls here, and I will just talk about what I thought could have been better about this movie and why it needed to do different for me; not for you. I am sure that certain addicted Bollywood fans can make themselves like this one better, and same is the case of the fans of the leading actors. But from a neutral point of you, I will provide my opinion here. If you don’t like it, don’t be a dumb fan and start abuse – choose to be rational. I have waited for the weekend to end before writing this one because I wanted most of you to watch this movie and come to a conclusion. Here are the reasons.

1. Why always the same story?: Well, the first thing I expected here is a complete change of the story, but it wasn’t there. I don’t understand why Bollywood needs to keep bringing the romantic angle into everything. This is once again the guy and girl meeting, singing songs, having dumb fun, leaving to meet again as they wonder what they had/have/will have is love or something else. Romance is not inspiration; love stories are not motivational because the point of life is not new generation infatuation which is shows in this movie – it is good people around us who inspires us. This story is just a repetition and for some reason, it keeps coming at us again and again. Is it at least interesting? No.

Meanwhile, this movie has two leading star performers and there is no romance.

2. Not able to connect with the characters: The hero of this movie is like Nivin Pauly of Oru Vadakkan Selfie, the only difference is that the person here tries to study and finish his course while Umesh played by Nivin decides not to study the course which he didn’t liked and failed in it. But he was a realistic character and we could relate to so many things that he was shown doing. But the hero Ved played by Ranbir Kapoor is not a realistic character at all. The way of showing his whole life as a mechanical thing further reiterates the fact it is not real, but created – the situations are also unreal, made for the person and not for the story which fails.

3. Not at all believable or likable: Both main characters in the movie are not likable. Their attitude towards a man in France for not knowing English, lets us know that everyone should learn English or get lost; where is the chance to be different there? Then, the use of the ridiculous jokes spoil most of the time in France, and in the end, the meet up in Japan for no reason. The protagonist even refuses to keep the lift’s door open for an elder lady and acts like a psycho in front of his boss for no reason; he wants people not to ask “How are you?” because he doesn’t like it – so much for freedom. There is no reason for people to connect with this movie – yes, we are all different, but thankfully, there is nobody like these people here, and I will thank God about the world around me.

4. There are so many better inspirational movies: We had the highly inspirational Queen last year, and then there was How Old Are You? in Malayalam and 36 Vayadhinile as its version in Tamil. This year had three movies Mili, Rani Padmini and Su Su Sudhi Vathmeekam as the highly motivational flicks which worked with perfect does of inspiration. The good thing about these movies is that none of these have romance, and even with the comedy and the light-hearted feeling, these are serious about what they deal with, and they are about the lives of the common man, not someone who keeps traveling all around the world like the one percent because movie’s producer has extra money.

Like in Queen, two leading ladies can make it work; skip romance and foreign countries.

5. The unexpected burial of the idea: The death and burial of this idea to be ourselves and do what we love in favour of melodrama, makes sure that it never really touches the heart. I usually get attracted to these types of movies with messages, but this one shows us no middle path, and provides us with the opportunity to be a robot or someone who is fair to one’s family – can’t one be both? In this year’s three Malayalam movies, there were the characters Mili, Rani, Padmini and Sudheendran who could be both! A good number of real inspirational movies have given me the idea that if I respect and accept others along with being different, I won’t be a robot. I apologize for being too traditional for your taste, but that is what I am, and I shall not walk away from my values.

***The images used in this blog post are from the official Facebook Pages of these movies. I love movies with inspirational messages, others which make us think and those which provide some fun, but not those movies which fail in doing all of these. I suggest that you don’t advice me on this matter because I am very much angry and frustrated about spending a hundred rupees on this movie. This film has left me in depression. Along with that, for us who have watched Anarkali, Ennu Ninte Moideen and Premam, there is that fake romantic angle.

TeNy

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Kingsman or King Kong?

I accept the fact that most of the world did like the movie which they call Kingsman: The Secret Service. But, I have to disagree with saying that “everyone liked that movie”, mostly because I could find nobody in the theatre or rather the multiplex of my choice liking this movie. May be it is because we are more of common people who choose to think different. Come on, this movie is not even original. Adding random sexual joke in the end adds to nothing. Still you might ask why? Here are the reasons.

Kingsman is not working in its genre: Kingsman: The Secret Service is a complete failure in its genre of spy action comedy as it somehow manages to be unfunny throughout its run, and the best scenes of the movie were already shown in the trailer. It is surely not action comedy, and even if you divide that in the middle, there is not much gained. About the spy stuff, it is too boring and a lesser version of what we have seen in many movies.

Here is a movie that worked. May be the new generation needs nonsense instead.

It has nonsense in the form of violence: This movie makes no sense with its violence as it has the most disgusting and the most boring scenes of violence, with people being torn apart, their heads being blown up and a hatchet to the head become amazing. I would say that if any kind of violence which is shown on the screen becomes enjoyable as comedy, it only shows a certain amount of degradation that occurs in the minds of the audience.

The script makes no sense even for a braindead zombie: There are dumb movies and there are incredibly dumb movies – among them, this movie has found a new low. Get Smart and Johnny English were so much smarter, but the problem with the critics and the new generation people is that they go for cheap jokes, and it is the reason for the glorification of this movie. They actually misguided me into watching this ridiculous movie which stands as the worst of the year so far.

The failure to know what is comedy: Whatever this movie feels as comedy doesn’t even exist. There was not even one little moment of laughter among he audience when this movie was going on and that shows how much this movie degenerated into something boring and ridiculous. It fails to pay tribute to the movies that it mocks, and is also a complete failure in bringing the fun element. It is like a bloody drag that happens from the beginning to the end. Yes, there is the message to be an idiot, that this movie provides.

Do you know what is a good spy action comedy? Not Kingsman, but Get Smart.

Better action comedy movies: Yes, there are too many of them, and as I have mentioned earlier, there are so many of spy comedy films which are actually funny unlike this piece of nonsense. There are better Indian movies which do nicely with action comedy, and the only thing that this movie manages to be is the Hollywood model of Besharam and become one of the worst movies ever – you don’t listen to the critics with this one; this is plain stupid.

I don’t usually waste my time writing reviews about stupid movies, but this is not that much of a review. This is just a collection of things that came to my mind while I came out after the show, with a few things added from what people were talking about in the theatre. Let me make one thing clear here: it is only when one becomes short of ideas that more and more blood and gore is added to a comedy movie. They are exact opposite things, and it is time that people realize that some things are not supposed to be funny. Movies do need violence because there are situations when it is needed, but that is not funny – it gives out a wrong impression to a mindless new generation. After all, murder, torture and rape, even when brutal in depiction, are funny for some people, isn’t it?

*I agree to what The Telegraph said abut this movie – “obnoxious”, and they have given this movie the right rating – the minimum. ***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Pages of Johnny English and Get Smart.

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TeNy