The Righteous Negative

There are only a few things about which we can be negative and still be happy about it. The belief in true love should also be something that brings as much doubt in our minds as in the case of a corruption-free government. But among those things about which I can be righteously negative, there is alcohol, there is the cigarette and among them, a different one should be pre-marital sex. This is also a question that is derived from A Passionaate Gospel of True Love : A Mystical True Love Story by Poonaam Uppal – a simple yes or no about pre-marital sex, and with so much ease, I choose no, and it is the righteous negative, for which I shall only preach what I practice.

For going further deep into the same, one has to think about what love really is. If it involves infatuation for the body and the lust which is uncontrollable before getting married, can it be true love? I wouldn’t think so. Infatuation comes and goes, and so does lust – neither of them stay. They are just parasites that feed on the love which is supposed to be eternal and makes it a lesser emotion, creating an effect which can be connected to Satan and the fall of Man. The pre-marital sex is the snake that causes the fall of true love, from its Garden of Eden, as romance becomes something of lesser quality, without anything heavenly in nature.

Om Shanthi Oshana: A movie depicting true love and nothing otherwise.

Om Shanthi Oshana: A movie depicting true love and nothing otherwise.

What kind of true love is based on sex and not the intellectual and spiritual unity? Then, what is the assurance that the partners can remain true to each other in the lack of sexual interest in the future? Time walks around with a sickle – it takes down the beauty and the sexual attachment in the blink of an eye. Well, love should have its pillars on one’s character, and then on the thoughts which are shared. It is not something which can be grown by sex; it should have its roots on understanding and mutual concern. Here is something that should go completely against the romantic comedies of Hollywood, but it is where I stand.

A relation based mostly on sex won’t stand, as it is not something that your partner can always offer, and might be something that another person can offer more. Pre-marital sex is one step that gets one interested in future infidelity – extramarital sex can follow. What needs to precede marriage is a case of honour and respect to each other, and a romance which hasn’t lost at least some of its innocence. If the pillar is of pre-marital sex, it is more like being made of the corpse that your relationship will be in the future.

Thattathin Marayathu: Another movie depicting true love and keeps it unblemished.

Thattathin Marayathu: Another movie depicting true love and keeps it unblemished.

This is one thing for which I completely agree with the comments of some of the BJP and RSS members. At least some people have the guts to talk against such things which have jumped into our culture from outside. It will be one more reason for BJP to get stronger in Kerala too. The protest from some Hindutva organizations against Valentine’s Day is also justified. True love doesn’t need a day unless it wants to dedicate it for sex – for love needs the whole life to love. Pre-marital sex is not what our culture has stood for. It is actually not what any civilized society has stood for. Every religion, with its moral code, has called for truthfulness within wed-lock.

Yes, there is modernization, imitation of Western culture, the need to be cool which comes only with such activities, and so on. It is reaching new heights at a time when the Westerners are imitating India and its spirituality. Western Christianity has gone too liberal and has rather let its culture take over its scripture, but in that case, shouldn’t we follow the Indian culture that we have been familiar with for years? Our culture had an immense amount of goodness and virtue, and can’t we rather embrace it and develop true love? Even William Shakespeare will agree, and so will our great writers.

All these years, I feel that I have been living in a period of transition. I have rarely belonged to the viewpoints of any of the generations of people, and is usually left caught in the abyss of nothingness which goes nowhere. It is the same reason why I have to make clear that I am not against whatever the new generation decides to choose. I have never been making choices for others. It is also because that would make a very old man, and after reaching the twenties, I have hoped not to grow up anymore as it would be more like growing too old.

Poonaam Uppal, a fashion designer and the author of the book.

Poonaam Uppal, a fashion designer and the author of the book.

But you can see that I limit this opinion to myself, and let the rest of the world do whatever it wants. They do have the right to think otherwise and choose. After all, I am a jobless person writing random things in front of a Dell laptop – who am I to advice to the more advanced society? But I take control my life, and choose to say no against pre-marital sex. I don’t see any glorification in indulging in the same. For how I see true love and how much I will value marriage as an extremely valuable thing, I have to choose the option “no”. It remains a question if I get married or get dead and buried before that, but my idea about this will remain the same. You can’t choose to stone me to death for my choice just because your idea is different.

This post is related to the work A Passionaate Gospel of True Love : A Mystical True Love Story written by by Poonaam Uppal, which is supposed to be a journey from the casinos of Las Vegas to the snow clad mountains of the Himalayas, revealing a mysterious love secret from beyond. Once again I thank the author as well as Indiblogger for this opportunity. You can check the book here: A Passionaate Gospel of True Love : A Mystical True Love Story (A Levaanah Publication). Also sharing the author’s website here: http://www.poonaamuppal.com/ – it is where the author’s photo is taken from, and the other two images are from the official facebook pages of the respective movies.

TeNy

The Virus of Cynicism

It is indeed a universe of chaos, where there are more doubts and uncertainties than the world has ever dreamt of. We live in a world which seems to be governed by the Lord of the Flies and not by any ring, magic wand or a talking lion. In the human world which is intrinsically bad and inherently evil, there is still goodness, and even as I am surprised that there is at least a little bit of the same, there is such an existence, and a more significant thing is that a lot of people believe in the same.

There have been certain incidents which have lead me to feel that may be people can actually trust each other in this world. It is not that people are regularly breaking my trust – I am a cynic, because I have seen so many people going through the selfish path; yes, we all might choose such a road at some point of time, but when we see that so often and as the only path that some people travel through with no chance of even one wrong turn that makes them differ, cynicism takes over.

The humans are grown in a world of chaos, aren't they? (Pic from The Matrix official FB page)

The humans are grown in a world of chaos, aren’t they? (Pic from The Matrix official FB page)

There are a few occasions when I wondered how people can afford to trust others so much in a world where people are judged by their money and achievements. The first one was when a random person who didn’t know Malayalam, English or Hindi trusted me to lead him to the bus station and into the right bus. I traveled with him and made sure that he was going towards the right destination. Sticking to my cynical self, I would have never even thought about asking a stranger, and might go around asking at least three people before getting into a bus, plus I would ask and confirm if he or she is hundred percent sure about it.

The second one was when a random elderly person asked me for help to withdraw his money from an ATM machine. But in my case, I wouldn’t trust any person to be even near me when I am using it. I keep checking my surroundings if there is some possible thief waiting somewhere, and if I can’t withdraw the money, I would just drop all the plans. So, as soon as his job seemed to be done, I rushed out of there without waiting for a thank you, because I was a cynic and will never approve his idea as to trusting the stranger. I was actually afraid that someone else might not do it rightly for him.

Then there is the case of people borrowing books from me, and it is not that much of a different case, as there are people who haven’t given them back to me and hence the case justified. So, when I give them books, nowadays I believe that I won’t get them back, and so if they return them, it is just a bonus. There is no difference in the case of CDs and DVDs. I have wondered which is that point where there comes the part from where we can begin trusting people. Yes, I do trust my good friends, but that trust doesn’t come from nowhere, but rises from situations and after a lot of time.

Only if controlling the idea could be done through dreams (Photo from The Inception FB page)

Only if controlling the idea could be done through dreams (Photo from The Inception FB page)

The same has been the case with me since childhood; when I was a kid studying in around the fourth standard, I gave a friend a video game, and when it was asked back, his mother asked “Why did you give it to him? It is why this has happened”. There marks the beginning of my cynicism. I have still trusted too many people unconditionally in my life, but more incidents have lead to the spreading of this idea about trust like a virus, and it has been growing inside me, not allowing me to trust people in general. I don’t believe that people have good intentions in general, and that idea is something which had a slow growth inside me.

But it has helped me to be more careful and not to expect much from people. If a break of trust happens, I will always be ready for it, and there will be no complaints from my side, and that much I can be sure about. I don’t have much hope or expectations, but I am more than just willing to do my job with sincerity while keeping my expectations low. We should do what we have to, and bad things will happen, but lets go on with what we do. We just can’t make people trustworthy, or be good. It is not within our power. It has helped me to try and be more sincere to others, as the world might not be.

TeNy