The Vampire Team was asked by Uncle Dracula to provide protection to the fairy godmother. She was threatened by the Draconian Reptile Order and the Dark Warlords after her long speech about being calm and tolerant. Her act of turning a frog into a snake was also considered a case of blasphemy by the former, and as an act of war cry by the latter. Three were selected to guard and prevent any kind of terrorist act.
Vampire Hamster: The bell is ringing. I think we should go because it is the time to disperse. But wait! Actually, why were we here?
Vampire Bat: We are here for guard duty. There are no bells here. The noise is from the Bleeding Neck Vampire LP School.
Vampire Hamster: The awesome BNVLPS where people get one A+ score free with a B+ score? Wow! Can I get an admission? This might be late by an eternity, but still?
Vampire Owl: Didn’t he know this before from the vampire study classes? We should have asked for the Vampire Crocodile instead. This memory-free apprentice is getting into my nerves.
Vampire Bat: He didn’t want to come when he knew that we were watching Lake Placid. He finds the movie very disturbing and anti-crocodile; there is a petition already sent to the Supernatural League to find a way to ban it confiscate all DVDs.
Vampire Owl: But it is supposed to a cool movie. We are watching Lake Placid? When?
Vampire Bat: When you were asleep during guard duty, and our apprentice here had forgotten about the same.
Vampire Hamster: Excuse me sir, but I think that there is a human coming this way.
Vampire Owl: Humans are here? All hope in this fantasy world is also lost! What happened to the respect for other creative dimensions and the limits of exploration?
Vampire Bat: May be he is just lost. The portals between dimensions are rather messy these days. A few days ago, we even had potato people coming through. We will just ask him to spare some blood for lunch and let him go.
Vampire Hamster: Halt, human! In the name of Count…count – whatever was the name and full title; in the name of the lord of all vampires, stop right there!
Stranger: But I really want to see my fairy godmother. Why are you standing in front of her door? Who are you people who are blocking the devotees? Are you her disciples?
Vampire Bat: First of all, don’t call her your fairy godmother and she takes no devotees. She is no property of any human. And second thing, we are not disciples; we are assigned to protect the fairy godmother from all kinds of evil presence, which includes you.
Vampire Hamster: Now I understand why we are here. All hail the fairy godmother! Do we get paid in Milkybars?
Vampire Owl: I think about him writing a PSC or NET exam in the other world. Well, this person has some explaining to do. Why is he actually here? He is not supposed to be running around through our world.
Stranger: I am here to see the fairy godmother as I have said already. I am here to see her so that I can change my world. My wife also wanted to come here and wish her on the mother’s day. But sadly, she had to visit my mother on mother’s day because the old lady was insisting on the same. So, I am here to seek the blessings of the fairy godmother so that my life will get better, and I will be like Cinderella and we will have a lot of wealth with easy life. She is more like the goddess and mother of everyone.
Vampire Bat: So you think that you could escape from your responsibilities towards your own mother and instead call a lady who does magic as “mother”? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? May be not that much in your world, but here?
Stranger: But I love the fairy godmother. There is no other mother for me.
Vampire Owl: I think that he should be impaled on this spear and we can use him as an exhibit – the grand old Dracula model.
Vampire Hamster: Excuse me gentlemen, but what is a spear? Isn’t this a lance that we are holding?
[Everybody stares at Vampire Hamster for a moment].
Stranger: I think I should come back later. Just tell her that I am a big fan of her – like a pure, high level devotee. I will be back to seek blessings from her. We have local spiritual and religious people like the fairy godmother back in our world. We love her!
Vampire Owl: Can you believe that? Who would he leave his own mother for some strange and unknown lady who does random magic?
Vampire Bat: I have known the extremities of being strange. I have seen too much hatred and equality to come up with a better judgment of humanity.
Vampire Hamster: So this is why we bite people?
Vampire Bat: I guess this adds to the long list of reasons.
Vampire Owl: Yes, cut the reason number twenty seven from the list and add this instead.
Vampire Hamster: Point noted, sir.
***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of the movie, Hotel Transylvania.