RIP: Simona the Kitty

I had been looking forward to post this one, but as most of my friends here are friends with me on Facebook or is in contact with one person or the other who is friends with me, I thought they knew. But the news about Simona’s death had to be told, at least for the people who don’t yet know about the same. It happened on a terrible night, when she jumped in front of a vehicle which was passing through the road in front of our gate. We have been missing her a lot, especially from a few days after the event; the absence was really felt!

simo

Here are a few of my favourite photos of her from the past which you might have seen in this blog; I have kept them separately…

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Jpeg

Jpeg

Simona shows her tongue in defiance of the latest food ban.

I declare this as my property. Nobody touches this :D

And also falling asleep in different ways.

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TeNy

Like Music to My Ears

He was riding the scooter continuously for the last few hours despite the fact that it was raining for most of the time. The road was terrible, but he decided not to stop because he felt that he would change the idea and might decide to go back. He didn’t want to return, no matter what happened, but he wasn’t sure that his mind would allow him to keep going if he had a second thought about it. He took a sudden left and then a right turn to reach a narrow road and continued through the route. The place was getting rather deserted, and finally he saw someone on the left.

“Where does this road end? Or does this reach some special place?” he stopped the scooter on the side and asked the man selling tea on the road side.

“It goes just a few kilometres ahead. After that, you can walk to the edge of the cliff there” said the tea seller.

“I haven’t heard much about this area. This is not really a tourist destination, right?” he asked.

“No, not really. It used to be visited by more people earlier though. Now, the roads are so bad, and a better tourist spot has been set up a few kilometres away on the other side. The local politician owns a resort and partially owns two restaurants there and so he promotes that place instead of this location. The families go there. Only some college kids come here, but none at this time of the day. The path is clearly not suitable for the scooters like the one you are riding now. People come here on big motor-bikes and bigger cars”.

A bridge on which you will drive your car. It is part of nature :D

“The business should be very dull then. You are like the last witch hunter; I mean the last tea seller” he added.

“Yes, but during the weekends and the other holidays, it gets better” the man said while looking at the empty glasses on the side.

“This should be the perfect place for me, the exact location which I have been looking for” he said.

“You have to be careful about walking near the edges. It can be slippery” the man warned.

“I will just go and have a look now” he said.

“Do you need a cup of tea? And maybe some snacks like parippu vada, uzhunnu vada or onion vada?” the man asked.

“Not now. Maybe when I return from there; if I do. I am not really sure if I will be back” he said while continuing his journey.

He could hear the tea seller shouting from behind, but he wouldn’t stop. He continued through the road. The pot-holes were many and it was more than what the scooter could handle. But he was sure that he was not going to use this scooter again, and so it didn’t really matter for him. The petrol was almost getting over when he reached the end of the road. He stopped the vehicle on the deserted area on the side of the road and started walking towards the end of the cliff.

Here is the vision which you should have very often to make life feel better.

He was waiting for that news which was to be music to his ears. He had waited for that for too long. He was so impatient that he himself asked if that particular thing was going to happen. But nothing really happened, and he was left waiting, and each moment was like eternity for him. It was only last night that he decided that enough is enough, and he had spent more than the time which was required. He decided to leave that behind and begin this journey.

He walked around the place for a few minutes and enjoyed the beauty of nature. There was greenery all around except for the small buildings which seemed far away. As he stood at the edge and looked down, his mobile phone started ringing. He decided not to take it, but it continued ringing for some time. After some hesitation, he attended the call and listened to that news which was music to his ears. Yes, what he wanted to hear had finally reached his ears then.

“But it is too late now. No more music to my ears, only the terrible noise of chaos” he told himself.

So, let the dark clouds leave and get to the destination I am talking about.

He had decided about what he had to do and there was no changing it now, as he closed his eyes and jumped off the top. The tea seller arrived on a bicycle a few minutes later to find an yellow scooter with the key and a bag left on it. He searched inside the bag to find a towel and a note which said – “No more music to my ears; but death is only the beginning”.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

***The images used in this blog post were taken by me on Sony Cybershot DSC-W310 and Samsung Galaxy A5

TeNy

The Nightmare Fallen

I have nightmares every night. It is as if I belong to them. The nightmare creatures come to me and gives me a wake up call in the middle of the night. Sometimes they create the good dream to which the nightmares are injected, like a plague virus in a needle to slowly transform them to the new form. Otherwise, they come directly, making a stand to my already existing meaningless world, and successfully haunts each and every moment of them. *All images used in this blog post are from the official page of Diablo game.

I have seen the demons in my nightmares for years now, and it hasn’t been a big problem for me. They rarely scare me with their methods, and there is nothing in The Conjuring, Insidious and Annabelle to come into my already dreadful nightmares. There is a lot of variety in the mutant creatures, demons, monsters and even some presence that I had my nightmares about. I have imagined a lot more than just that. But no, they are not the ones who scare me anymore.

A sample demon who used to be pretty much awesome.

A sample red demon of fire who used to be pretty much awesome in my nightmares.

The creatures rarely come into my nightmares these days. May be they have felt that they are not good enough anymore as they have been replaced, as the past and the present run wild like a river in the rainy season, bringing up the old and the new generations of human presence here, troubling the sleep like never before. They are not the ones that can be taken care of, as they exist and show their presence in real life. They are like forever, the hounds of eternity in human form.

They are the ones who advice and scold like bloody cyclops who accidentally got lucky as their sons or daughters somehow got out of the monstrous self, and became the kind of people who have been going on like those politicians of Athens, but are being compared to the Oracle of Delphi. Now, it is them who come in the nightmares, and devil has decided to recall his minions and take the backseat. The uncles and aunties talking nonsense in the nightmares – this is not even a creative nightmare! The years that I have spent in obedience are coming back to hurt me.

My favourite demon; I wish that this one comes and scares me instead.

My favourite demon; I wish that this one comes and scares me instead of the humans.

I didn’t know that getting a job was the most important thing in the world. If I had known that, I would have stopped my studies much earlier. I thought that education was more important, that learning was the significant thing, and the only thing that can help me in future life. But it turns out that nobody really cares about learning, and the only thing that mattered was how much money I could make. When I hope to study and try a few exams in hope to get a job, there is the attempt to take that away; to get a job out thin air – who am I? a sorcererer? I am going to be judged further and further, and everyone around me is a judge.

It is what being jobless brings. These people who blames you twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and three hundred and sixty five days an year. Whenever they come anywhere close to you, there is the realization that they are going to talk about why their sons and daughters are so awesome, and how you are so pathetic and disgusting because you don’t have a job. The result is that you can’t think properly, can’t make any decision with not even able to do what you have been good at, and leaves you in anxiety and fear.

Things used happen in my mind, and now it is becoming more clueless.

Things used happen in my mind, and now it is becoming more clueless and hopeless.

Along with the inability to even read anything with concentration, it leaves you doubtful about your own abilities, not sure what to do, and the end product of these is the nightmares. The end product of the same is sleepless nights; I can’t even remember when was the last night I could go smoothly without the nightmares. They come to me in the nightmares, and wake me up many times a night. Sometimes, there is falling from the bed, and I lose count how many times my head and shoulders hit the floor. Does the shampoo with the same have the ability to any favour? I wonder.

One hope: A possible future peace of mind, and may be I can write a number of tests and get a job.

TeNy

Strongest of Memories

This is something that I thought I should share on another day which would be considered more as the day of bigger relevance, but I don’t see any reason why I should delay this. To be frank, I think that I should have posted this one a long time ago. The one below is a poem which I had written on the demise of Jean Mathew, one of the earliest elderly brother figures I ever had; and to think more about it, I can’t remember any other. We had lost him to brain tumour on the third of March 2013.

He should be the most hardworking person I have ever known. Even at the worst of times, he was known for his faith, belief and hope, with a courage to face whatever comes next. He was active at http://jeanmathew.blogspot.in/ and http://photoshealingwords.blogspot.in/ during the toughest of times. The poem below has been shared before in his memories collected in a book form, but never online, and so I thought I would share this here too. This is no In Memoriam, ThyrsisAdonais or Lycidas, but just what I could come up with at that time. May be I can come up with something better on another day.

The memories go back to the 1990s
It was to Malampuzha that our first big trip
Happened like never before, with bliss
And I stood there with Jean chettan in front of
A structure which was India’s map in grass
And there was our first photo taken together.

One of our earliest photos, scanned from the old collection

One of our earliest photos, scanned from the old collection of memories.

And just in a few years, during that sojourn
At Palai, among the first few computer games
Which I ever knew, one of them named Paperboy
Along with some random Tetris and Racing stuff
And then at Vagamon, still one of our best photos
With the wind, Jean chettan and myself.

And that is not everything about photos though
As he captured the best moments of the world
Freezing time and space for us all to behold
And each snap by Jean chettan brought thoughts
With Bible verses gracefully attached to them
Those lambent snaps added further sunshine.

Cropped from his photo collections with inspirational Bible Versions.

Cropped from his photo collections with inspirational Bible Versions.

I still remember how much of hardwork
Jean chettan put into everything he did
And whenever I see any photo of those
Which were fallen autumn leaves or that
Which fell from the sky as pure white snow
I feel the radiance of what he captured.

Even as I shall never be able to show the same
Undisputed courage and strength in adversity
Or be that much hardworking as Jean chettan ever
His self-evident faith and optimism has done
A lot and has given strength to more than one soul
And left me further vivified in my own beliefs.

TeNy