Vampire Hamster: Greetings, my dear fellow vampire appendicitis, and I welcome all of you here.
Vampire Crocodile: Wait a minute! Did he just call us appendicitis?
Vampire Alligator: On some occasions, that is also true.
Vampire Panda: I would have been surprised if he had managed to get that one correct.
Vampire Bat: It is apprentice, Squire Hamster.
Vampire Hamster: Oh! I apologize! Yes, my dear fellow vampire apprentices, you are welcome to this special class on the “Great Vampire Family Traditions” which will taken by the Vampire Owl and watched over by the Vampire Bat.This will be the final class before the tea party.
Vampire Owl: Good evening, students. I hope your coffins are all in good condition and you are enjoyed the darkness inside there. I would like to begin with the most important tradition that we follow here, which the humans never know about. It is called respecting each other ass a person, no matter from where and from what background the other person comes from. This has been a part of the great vampire tradition.
Vampire Crow: I know that very well. The humans disrespect crows every day. They don’t even have wings, and still they do this. I often wonder how evil they would have been if they could fly and had my special colour.
Vampire Penguin: They think that I am cute, and that is the most disrespectful thing.
Vampire Owl: Then there is the tradition of drinking tea. The artificial blood chemical mixed into tea makes the drink a usual part of our tradition. It was introduced for us with the second stage of the New Vampire World, but the roots go back to the Old Vampire Isles. This way, we remain mostly vegetarian.
Vampire Crocodile: The tea is my favourite. When we mix this tradition with the crocodile tradition of Lake Placid, it makes clear that the crocodiles need more tea than the others.
Vampire Panda: That makes no sense. We are from the Kungfu Panda tradition. We need more tea for more energy to practice martial arts.
Vampire Bat: Silence! The individual traditions will be dealt with during another class. This one will be on collective vampire traditions only.
Vampire Owl: Well, you know the tradition of not living according to the advice of the society. It is the elders of the realm and some people who call themselves professionals that keeps telling us that we have to do something and nothing else; that we are not capable of anything else. We have worked hard on this, but we haven’t been able to achieve this like our predecessors did. Still, we will keep trying, and soon we will achieve perfection in this.
Vampire Penguin: I have forgotten the happy feet dance completely. I am good at that.
Vampire Panda: And in my case, the noodles making procedure. I don’t even eat noodles these days.
Vampire Bat: That is once again not part of our class and discussion. Kindly listen to the class. There will time provided for asking questions.
Vampire Owl: The grand tradition is to respect our history which has defined us and made us what we are now. It lives in us and it shall live through us. We have gone through the times of trouble and fought big wars, but all of us have come out of them stronger and with better understanding, having further care for each life and all that defines us, which has been proven to be very important.
Vampire Bat: And that is my personal favourite.
Vampire Owl: And our final and the most important tradition, to live in harmony with nature, not to exploit it, but to do whatever we can for conservation. We shall return to nature the love that it has provided us, at least in parts. This is a tradition which we intend to teach the humans soon because they are the only creatures who have absolutely no plan of respecting nature.
Vampire Bat: That finishes the lecture.
Vampire Hamster: I believe that will be all from the class, and now we are open to questions and some discussion.
***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of the movie, Hotel Transylvania.