It is indeed a universe of chaos, where there are more doubts and uncertainties than the world has ever dreamt of. We live in a world which seems to be governed by the Lord of the Flies and not by any ring, magic wand or a talking lion. In the human world which is intrinsically bad and inherently evil, there is still goodness, and even as I am surprised that there is at least a little bit of the same, there is such an existence, and a more significant thing is that a lot of people believe in the same.
There have been certain incidents which have lead me to feel that may be people can actually trust each other in this world. It is not that people are regularly breaking my trust – I am a cynic, because I have seen so many people going through the selfish path; yes, we all might choose such a road at some point of time, but when we see that so often and as the only path that some people travel through with no chance of even one wrong turn that makes them differ, cynicism takes over.
There are a few occasions when I wondered how people can afford to trust others so much in a world where people are judged by their money and achievements. The first one was when a random person who didn’t know Malayalam, English or Hindi trusted me to lead him to the bus station and into the right bus. I traveled with him and made sure that he was going towards the right destination. Sticking to my cynical self, I would have never even thought about asking a stranger, and might go around asking at least three people before getting into a bus, plus I would ask and confirm if he or she is hundred percent sure about it.
The second one was when a random elderly person asked me for help to withdraw his money from an ATM machine. But in my case, I wouldn’t trust any person to be even near me when I am using it. I keep checking my surroundings if there is some possible thief waiting somewhere, and if I can’t withdraw the money, I would just drop all the plans. So, as soon as his job seemed to be done, I rushed out of there without waiting for a thank you, because I was a cynic and will never approve his idea as to trusting the stranger. I was actually afraid that someone else might not do it rightly for him.
Then there is the case of people borrowing books from me, and it is not that much of a different case, as there are people who haven’t given them back to me and hence the case justified. So, when I give them books, nowadays I believe that I won’t get them back, and so if they return them, it is just a bonus. There is no difference in the case of CDs and DVDs. I have wondered which is that point where there comes the part from where we can begin trusting people. Yes, I do trust my good friends, but that trust doesn’t come from nowhere, but rises from situations and after a lot of time.
The same has been the case with me since childhood; when I was a kid studying in around the fourth standard, I gave a friend a video game, and when it was asked back, his mother asked “Why did you give it to him? It is why this has happened”. There marks the beginning of my cynicism. I have still trusted too many people unconditionally in my life, but more incidents have lead to the spreading of this idea about trust like a virus, and it has been growing inside me, not allowing me to trust people in general. I don’t believe that people have good intentions in general, and that idea is something which had a slow growth inside me.
But it has helped me to be more careful and not to expect much from people. If a break of trust happens, I will always be ready for it, and there will be no complaints from my side, and that much I can be sure about. I don’t have much hope or expectations, but I am more than just willing to do my job with sincerity while keeping my expectations low. We should do what we have to, and bad things will happen, but lets go on with what we do. We just can’t make people trustworthy, or be good. It is not within our power. It has helped me to try and be more sincere to others, as the world might not be.