Vampire Owl: Greetings, my dear vampire apprentices. I know that you hate to come for the classes on the day after a holiday, but you had to arrive today because we are lagging in studies and this syllabus has to be completed before the Pooja holidays with another set ready to be finished before Christmas holidays. I have absolutely no idea how to do it, but I will explain the longest chapter of the book right now; it is about humans and their hate. It has facts about how, why and when they lie and also about the origins of their terrible attitude towards their fellow human beings which puts even the ultimate evil werewolves to shame.
Vampire Crow: Is this more like an origin story which the superheroes get? I have often heard that “hate” is a superpower that the humans have managed to achieve by centuries of hating each other citing different reasons.
Vampire Owl: Yes, it is true. We can call it The Human Lies and Hate: Origins. May be we can even start a television series on it and then the programme can go on and on for a long time because there is so much material on the same.
Vampire Hamster: Excuse me sir, but were they bitten by a radioactive spider or did they escape from another planet before it was destroyed?
Vampire Owl: Absolutely not. They are from this planet only, which is a case of depression and extreme sadness. Mother Earth often complains to us about the same. Once she said that she will even jump into a black hole to get rid of these humans of hate.
Vampire Raven: We can’t wait to hear the origin story then!
Vampire Owl: Okay. This story starts long ago in a cave with a few cavemen and women. There was this guy who used to sing so well. One day, a girl told the others that she didn’t like the song. A fat man smashed her on the skull with a club screaming that it is an insult to the person and she died instantly. It is the case of the first fan in the world, and this fat guy is the representation of all the fans who exist these days with no concern for the others, only living to hate for the sake of their favourite celebrity. This is the hate which they carried over to many other aspects of life.
Vampire Alligator: So, the celebrity worship already existed at that time and has been the mother of all hate, long before religion.
Vampire Owl: Yes, of course. Often, religion also degrades itself to some celebrity worship instead of developing a personal relationship with God. The only thing that the fans have always worried about is on how to hate everyone for one person whom they haven’t met in real life. The truth has always been that this celebrity will never really meet these fans and neither will be they ask for their services.
Vampire Crow: But still, shouldn’t these celebrities be held responsible for the actions of these fans because if they were better people in control of their admirers in a sensible manner, their fans could have had more sense?
Vampire Owl: I would consider such a thing a lot necessary, especially when fans resort to so much nonsense in their names. If these celebrities had honour, it would have carried on to the fans. It is the celebrity who is often reflected on his or her fans, and it is clear that they like to have people under them who worships and respects. Celebrities mostly don’t believe in equality; otherwise they would have controlled their fans up-to an extent. They look down upon the normal person.
Vampire Raven: I would say that we should get rid of the celebrities in the human world and establish the state of equality there.
Vampire Owl: We are not authorized to do that. We could still put some light into the brains of blind fans, but unfortunately, they are filled with this pure fan trash. The only thing they can do in reply to a review is to keep saying how awesome their favourite stars are. Unfortunately for them, people with brains don’t care. If a character in a movie or television series is talked about, they will instantly say that the celebrity is the greatest performer of all time and so he or she has done very well in this work too. Otherwise, they will come with the cliche statements that “I think he/she has done better than everyone else because she has acted more and has experience” and “I don’t understand why you didn’t like the amazing performance”. A better question would have been about why people have opinions. Their last weapon is abuse which they use when all the brain cells are dead. These mostly arise from the fact that they know that their favourite actor/actress is not really good, and they have to prove it with lies.
Vampire Alligator: Humans hating humans for some strange celebrity who is known at one part of the world and is unknown somewhere else – it is a strange world. I still don’t get why humans have to become fans of other humans when all humans should be equal. I also don’t get why the fans keep trying to impose their opinion on others. I thought human life was in a free world where there was freedom of opinion. These fans can’t even accept a workas what it is, and the actors as characters. The only thing that matters to them are related to what is written about their celebrities about which no person with common sense cares about.
Vampire Owl: Yes, the truth is that for people with intelligence, for what matters is just what is shown on the screen, and not who these actors and actresses are. The human fans are real curse on the universe, and all the wars in the human world were fought by the fans. These miserable fans have killed because of being fans to their race, religion, language, caste and many others. It is because they are the fans of these things and when someone else comes with an opinion which is not close to this, they go for hate and war. All the human problems were always caused by the blind fans.
Vampire Crow: It is a surprise that they still exist. The celebrity fans are the worst kind. All other fans mostly got some better cause.
Vampire Owl: Yes. Please be careful when going to the human world. There are too many fans who can’t understand the meaning of opinion. Last time I talked to one, he asked me “What is an opinion? We don’t appreciate it. Don’t you know that she is the greatest actress of all time? She will never get an award. But awards are for dummies. That is all which you need to know”. You can note that down.
***The images used in this blog post are from the official Facebook Page of the movie, Hotel Transylvania.