Simona Times: Edition IV

***Kitty Newspaper from the Cat World lead by Simona the little big cat.

Why don’t you give it a try? asks Simona.
After the recent talks about banning Tuna in the cat world in favour of Mackerel, Sardine and Herring, Simona has dared the cat community to do that and suffer the consequences. She has also told the press that this ban is because the name of the cat leader’s former girlfriend was Tina, and not because there is a special love to see more Tuna living in water. Simona was also heard saying that nobody has the right to choose what others eat, and all these decisions for saving Tuna from getting eaten in also with political motives to support those who sells the other types of fish. She has also made it clear that she will always find Tuna and eat it.

Simona shows her tongue in defiance of the latest food ban.

Simona valiantly shows her tongue in defiance of the latest food ban.

Simona works part-time to explain dreams.
As a lot of cats have been experiencing interesting dreams in the recent past, Simona has decided to work part-time, explaining them. She addressed the worried local cat community last day and has assured them that this doesn’t mean the end of the world. She also offered them to explain the dream with one chicken leg taken for the interpretation of each dream. She has promised to continue the job until her stomach is full, and then there will be a break. Those who bring fish along with chicken will have the extra interpretation which is related to the dream that is to be seen on the next day, according to her.

Simona asks for votes in the “cool cat competition”.
In one of those competitions held by the Feline Brotherhood of the South-West Canal, Simona starts at number twenty nine out of one hundred and seventy five entrants. She has asked for each human to vote for her by hugging a cat which looks like her, as one hug is equal to one like on Facebook for her as cats are not on Facebook. She has also asked to feed a cat coloured black and white, and the action will also be counted as one share on Facebook. Simona says that she doesn’t really need this label because she is already the coolest cat around, but she wishes to add it to her resume.

The work on The Great Feline Epic begins.
The cat intellectuals have begun the work on what is supposed to be the greatest epic from the cat world, which is called The Great Feline Epic or the Legend of Cats in Black and White. With one hundred cats working together to achieve on grand aim, the representatives of the movement have told the press that the work will finish in less than a year, just before the building of the Great Feline Statue of Freedom finishes. More cat intellectuals are supposed to join the team from different countries. The work is supposed to be honoured as the one true book of cat myths and adventures.

Simona publishes the new “Wanted” list.
Simona the Kitty, with approval from the Universal Cat Sorority Mission, has published an update to the current “Wanted” List which had only four dogs until then. The extention to the list became a need after Simona failed to catch two cockroaches which successfully evaded her. Simona called for support among the cat team, and after bribing with some extra tuna, successfully managed to get the support of more than half of the members, and has declared the two cocroaches as wanted for treachery. She made it clear that cockroaches are not supposed to escape from cats certified with the titles of Spider Slayers. She has also accused the neighbourhood dog of aiding cockroaches.

Simona was shocked to see the last cockroach escape from her.

Simona was shocked to see the last cockroach escape from her.

Simona calls herself the future of cricket.
After practicing every day with the ping-pong ball, Simona has called herself the future of Cat Cricket. She proclaimed herself the captain ultra-cool and has brought the idea to bring a new Cat Cricket Team for India. “We can always do better than the current Indian cricket team” she said. “They waste their talents, but we work hard because we are cats and there is nothing much to do for us. We have survived the deadliest dogs which wander around the streets and the most evil humans. This will be very easy for us. We shall defeat everyone because we know the secret cricket ingredients” Simona was further heard saying.

Simona does a hunger strike in style.
To make sure that all cats get to live under a roof, Simona started a hunger strike. She has claimed that this “nirahara sathyagraha” has worked and did provide home for twelve more cats before she called it off. But the dogs lead by Simona’s neighbourhood dog Jimmy has claimed that this is pure nonsense. “We have seen her hunger strike. It lasted for only four minutes and fifty seven seconds. What kind of impossible result is achieved with that? This makes no sense, and we demand a probe into this claim” Jimmy was heard commenting. Meanwhile, Simona has said that she does the impossible, and it has become natural to her.

***The images used in this blog post were taken by me on Samsung Galaxy A5.

TeNy

Newspaper of the Day

Newspapers have been with mostly unpleasant or depressing news, and it is usually not the best idea to read them. It is more of a source of demotivation and plays an interesting role in bringing sadness. The good news is no different, especially with certain newspapers which keep talking about the Bollywood news in particular. May be there are people who want to know what the celebrities love, want to do, who they wish to marry and what food they have. But it is never something of a true reader’s concern. So, here is the ideal news instead, even though these might never happen.

“The world finally decides to become one”
Zurich: After many hours long discussion, the world leaders finally decided to open the borders to create a world without walls. This was the result of the ever increasing refugee crisis and the mutual hatred in the name of nationalism and patriotism. With the atrocities committed in the name of patriotism becoming equal to terrorism, the leaders have decided to make it one big nation for humans where equality thrived. With most of the world leaders agreeing to this, it is expected that the others will also follow.

Just one of those streams which should be crossed during the journey on foot.

It is never right about limiting people to nations; humanity should be free.

“Scientists take a u-turn to save the world”
Copenhagen: There has been a big twist, and a strong decision was taken on this day during the final day of the conference of scientists today, as a stand was taken to prevent any research on weapons, after the leaders decided to break down the walls. All other researches were also to be put on hold until the medical care was developed to its maximum and until there was provisions to save enough food for the poor. “There is enough to feed the poor, but we just never care about it in the arms and space race and competition between the nations to prove who is better”, one of them was quoted saying.

“Nobody cares about the personal lives of celebrities”
Trivandrum: Frustrated by the news about celebrities whom they don’t even know or care about having a dog, drinking Pepsi, not liking another celebrity, going on a trip to Somalia, having a stomach upset, buying a new mobile phone, getting a haircut and many other things, movie fans decided to start a movement against what they called a case of pure nonsense. “May be they can reduce the price of the newspapers as they get rid of this nonsense which nobody wants to read” one of the fans were quoted saying. The fans are also trying to take the movement into the social media.

In the life of modernity, what is it that we can do for the society?

There are darker clouds which need attention instead of focusing on the ridiculous.

“India wins the FIFA World Cup”
Cochin: In a big twist which nobody had expected, India defeated Netherlands and has managed to win the FIFA World Cup, thanks to the last minute goal during the second half of the extra time from Sushanth Mathew assisted by Sandesh Jhingan. After two tough halfs which saw extremely strong defence which prevented the Dutch from scoring, the first half of the extra time almost saw Netherlands making it if it wasn’t for the crossbar. But in the 120th minute of the game, one goal sealed the game making sure that there was no need for the penality shootout.

“T20 matches banned along with IPL”
Mumbai: In an attempt to bring quality back to cricket, BCCI decided to ban T20 matches which goes along with its previous decision to ban IPL after taking into consideration, the amount of corruption involved in it. The best players of the times are already parts of too many cases of match-fixing, and this decision should have come earlier – many fans were heard saying. BCCI thus becomes the last cricket board of a test playing nation to ban T20 and has decided to stop playing T20 with the non-test playing nations because the regular members were not available.

“Roger Federer becomes the oldest player to win a Grandslam”
London: It has been a long time since he won a Grand Slam at his favourite surface, and he once again reached the final. He had lost a good number of finals earlier, but not this time, as he managed to go through his nemesis, Novak Djokovic after one of the longest tennis matches in a Grand Slam final. After losing the first two sets 5-7 and 4-6, Federer managed to win the next two by tie-breaks 7-6(13) and 7-6(16). The last set went on, and finally Federer had the last laugh with two SABR attacks in a row to break the man in form. Final score was 5-7, 4-6, 7-6(13), 7-6(16), 18-16.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

***The images used in this blog post were taken by me.

TeNy

Simona Times: Kochi Edition

I hereby present the first edition of Simona Times, the first full kitten newspaper from Central Kerala. There has been a great protest among the cat community as they have felt that the cats are being avoided and people are just loving the dogs. They have made it clear that it is disappointing that some dogs even have a better status than humans. It is against this discrimination, that the self-proclaimed leader of the Kerala Cat Community, Simona came up with a petition in which she got the finger prints of all cats of Kerala without any discrimination on the basis of gender, colour and meow dialects.

The number of protests has only been increasing these days, and unless justice is served, the cats hope to take to the next level. Another indirect result of these cat movements and revolutions is the publication of Simona Times. Simona works as the reporter and editor of the newspaper with special support from two unknown cats about whom no information is provided. Each and every day and night, Simona goes out for four hours to collect information about the lives of the cats around. International Cat Community has allocated special fund and appreciation for the same.

Full News:

Control the dog lovers, Simona tells the common man.
For the last few days, dog lovers have been racially abusing Keralites for no reason while using lies, and related to the same, Simona has declared full support to Kerala’s common man. She has demanded prison for those stray dogs which have been chasing the little kittens, and has offered her help in identifying the worst among them who have hurt human children. She also talks about a few animal lovers who have asked the common men to get rid of cats and get dogs instead. She adds that these dog lovers who show so much hate should not be allowed to affect the decisions of the common man.

Simona denies the existence of her viral childhood photo.
A photo when Simona was a little kitten has been spreading rapidly through the internet. People have been talking about how cute she was, and that there is no better looking little kitten and a lot of them have shared it on their Facebook, Google Plus and Tumblr profiles. But Simona has completely denied that she ever looked like that. She has declared that she has always been a big, strong cat. She often tell the stories about how she has scared the dogs of the neighbourhood with a special form of cat martial arts, which she calls Simonatica Meowzikia.

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The old photo of Simona the Kitty which she denies to be of her.

Cats ask to be declared as a subdivision of vampire species.
With dogs getting all the special reservation status here, many cat communities have been asking for a separate status. As most of the humans are going for dogs, cats are looking to join the vampire subdivision so that they will be better appreciated as part of the group better. Vampires are known to love cats more, and with wolves replacing the dogs in vampire territory, cats have more opportunities serving the undead world. Some of the cats are already working as a connection between this world and the other, and the cats are hoping to make it official.

Humans preparing fish at home to be rewarded by local cat committees.
This news had spread very fast, and a lot of jealous dogs had protested against the same. As humans have been eating less fish and are deviating towards having chicken, mutton, beef and duck, the organization of local cat committees have asked humans to choose fish instead and be rewarded. The committee has offered free mouse search at each and every house which has fish at least once a week. Some of the bigger cats have even offered protection against the snakes. More fish means more service, and there are new advertisements being set up related to the same.

Cat revolutionaries ask for security posts in guarding zapota and guava.
The Cat Revolutionary Movement has recently gained a lot of supporters among the common cat community. It has actually become so popular that even the breeds from outside have asked for a special membership status. Their most recent demand is for jobs. As dogs have been ineffective in guarding zapota and guava from the bats, the cat revolutionaries have offered humans their service in return for fish. Simona has declared that cats are the only true hunters who can save humans and their property from the dangerous flying creatures in return for just fish and nothing else.


A video of Simona and a bat above proving her skills.

TeNy