Truth Makes One Free

There are many types of truth in this world, and among them, the strongest ones might be the one which you want to hear and those which you want to avoid hearing at any cost. The strength of both of these lies in our perception of that truth. There are times when we can’t live with that truth, and at some other times, we can’t live without it. But knowing and accepting the truth is something that makes our lives better, most of the time. It makes us free, and often transforms us into better people.

I believed in God without the existentialist, absurdist, nihilist thoughts at that time – they came to me later with and after MA English. My thoughts about the world was not that complicated; I loved just the usual things and tried to stick with the crowd at that time. So, I wasn’t sure that I was there at the right place when I took the Commerce-Mathematics group for my Plus Two at a CBSE school, but still felt that God has put me at the right place, and if things needed to change, it will.

In the life of modernity, what is it that we can do for the society?

The clouds were always dark and strong over my head, but the rain mostly stayed away.

So, it was one of those days when I went to the school early morning at six when the school bus came to pick the sleepy me and bring me to the distant educational institution which had me in trouble. By that time, I had changed my stream and found that Commerce-Mathematics could never work even in the best scenario, and may be it can work with Commerce-Computer because Mathematics has always been the biggest evil of all times. But that didn’t do much good, because the true evil was something else.

Evil came in another form at that time, using the mask of Accountancy. I was sure that it sent me to sleep more than any other. Mathematics used to make me fall asleep, but it was in parts. This one actually sent me to sleep with such consistency that I have nightmares about this subject in the class. I used to say the definition of Accounting in sleep at that time, and still continues to remember that one particular definition. I wished that I could run away, but the school was located at some strange place from where there was no direct bus home.

The Accountancy teacher at that time knew that there was something wrong with me, and I was the one true zombie in the class while she was teaching, even though I never accepted that. I was determined to learn Accountancy by heart and not let it go, even though my habit of staying up late at night and leaving early for school had made Fried Rice out of my brain, and I was often the walking dead, and the feeling was very strong during the Accountancy classes.

My mother had asked me earlier to stop this meaningless program and return so that we can try at some State syllabus school which starts at 10 AM and also leave this Accountancy behind because she herself is unable to make me understand it despite working at a bank. But I decided to go on with the daily sleepy party until something which my Accountancy teacher said made a point in my zombified mind. I still can’t figure out most of it because I was sleepier than being cursed with sleep. It went through the fog of sleepiness and reached the core; #SachchiAdvice was there.

The journey of life continues, but at the end, what do we earn?

The journey of life continues, and there was that bridge which I always had to find.

She was sure that I didn’t like this at all; even though, there were others who scored lesser than me, it was only me who had absolutely no interest in this, and had come to sleep at class and then manage something to do just okay during the tests. My interest was at somewhere else, and I finally decided to get out of my sleepy school days and join another school with Science-Computer, but it was not my destination either. Still, I managed to survive there, and in the end, be the Plus Two graduate in science stream, and then later cut that connection too!

I am participating in the #SachchiAdvice Contest by MaxLife in Association with BlogAdda.

***The images used in this blog post were taken on my Sony Cybershot camera by me.

TeNy

The Twist of Fate

It was a long time ago that I had this doubt in choosing between English and History for graduation. The problem was that I liked both of the subjects almost equally, and couldn’t figure out a choice between them. I was also not confident about choosing between these two also because I was a very doubtful person, and wondered which of these would do me good and which one won’t be that good for me. There was not going to be much difference in the studies for me, but there was going to be certain change in the results.

I used to read both English Literature and History works, and so that was going to be a problem. So, I decided to ask a few people. The result was all on one side though, in favour of English. I tried tossing a coin, and even that showed English. Only the time spent in the games Age of Empires, Rise of Nations, Civilization and Caesar had me with another ideas. People were all so much in favour of English that I wondered why they hadn’t recommended Humanities to me for Plus Two. Still, I was closer to one of my two favourite courses then.

And then there was the Lighthouse Beach at Kovalam.

We need lighthouses in our lives to show where to go without hitting the rocks.

I was still going to tell these people when I joined and where, because letting too many people know things was the reason behind most of my problems. So, I called my friend who was studying outside Kerala, and as many of the others and almost every friend whom I had from school or neighbourhood, he was also going through Engineering. If he wasn’t going through that course, that would have been a surprise, because I have had the title of being the only one strange non-Engineer, non-Doctor person.

He told me to go on with English because he knew that I wrote something which none of my friends wanted to read or understand. I felt that it was a fair suggestion because I had often wondered what I wrote about and why. Choosing English could give me a better direction at that time. There was the need to read more and direct my writings better. So, choosing English was the right thing to do, and History could happen on another day. So, the friend went back to the procedure of collecting supplementary exams, and I made clear about the choice again.

During these days, I wonder about the decisions, but choosing English hasn’t really bothered me at all, even as I couldn’t find a job after that; it is just that the route doesn’t make me sad. It is something that I had wanted and with both the BA as well as the MA, I have never really felt any big trouble during the course. Even now, I find happiness in being MA English graduate rather than any other, and this also meant that I could study in the one college where I always wanted to study. It was the right choice; may be History would have done just okay, but the choice was still fine.

Darkness spreads. But how fast can that happen?

Choices do make things happen – what if we take that wrong turn instead?

But I did take my second degree in History too, and so it wasn’t really a loss even there. In the end, it was about which degree to come first and which one to follow. With nothing lost in the end, the #SachchiAdvice worked better because the language had given me more power, and I could use a good amount of this acquired strength while writing for the History exams too. History had also come as one of the extra subjects to study for the English graduation. So everything was related.

Nowadays, when I wonder what I should have done different or what I could have chosen in another way, this choice doesn’t come to the list of bad decisions, and it happens to be the #SachchiAdvice which has made things work. There is always the need for some confirmation related to the decisions from people we trust, and I haven’t been that good in making decisions. But here, the decision was the kind which still inspires me to write. I feel that if I was not MA English, I wouldn’t have even started a blog at WordPress.

I am participating in the #SachchiAdvice Contest by MaxLife in Association with BlogAdda.

***The images used on this blog post were taken by me only.

TeNy