End of Life’s Meaning

It shouldn’t really take much time to realize that life has no meaning at all. The fact that people take so much of time to understand the same is the strange thing about it. Those who proclaim that they have found meaning in life are either living in a fool’s paradise, or are trying to make fools out of people. People should have at least understood the same after the floods or the COVID-19 pandemic. There is no real purpose, and we are just existing through this world of chaos because we were born, and are doomed for an inferno in advance before we get to see the real heaven or hell. We are now facing the third wave of a pandemic, and even the government do not want to impose a lockdown and stop the spread anymore. Everyone is indeed tired, and the vaccine is as useless as it can get.

There will always be those fake motivational speakers who will try to say otherwise. These people will come up with the examples of people who have fought against all odds and succeeded. But the truth is that this is not motivating, but depressing – the fact that even these people succeeded while you didn’t leads to the realization that you are worthless, and maybe it is the time to end your life. This leads to you stop searching for those so called motivational people and start searching for methods to commit suicide. Well, you just cannot get better through the inspiration provided by the lives of others, as no two people live the same life – maybe it is true in the case of celebrities who all seems to go through the same lifestyle.

Motivational speakers can talk about light in the dark, but darkness covers them all.

You cannot connect the celebrities to the meaning of life, as there is nothing that they will provide as a positive thing. It is still a wonder to see that we have so many people following the lives of these celebrities – can they be saying truth at any moment? Will people believe in the advertisements which they are part of? Is Boost really the secret of the energy of any cricketer from Sachin Tendulkar to Virat Kohli? Hasn’t their performances come down after beginning to appear in those advertisements? Does Amitabh Bachchan eat so many Cadbury’s Diary Milk chocolates at this age? Did Mahendra Singh Dhoni use that matrimony website to find the person to whom he got married? Is any Bollywood celebrity using the soaps which they are advertising?

These days, it is often about one celebrity child having a Youtube channel. It could have been tik-tok, but thankfully, that one was banned to get rid of some of the irritation. The son or daughter of the superstar who is going to be the next superstar will have a Youtube channel, and the person would talk about what happens at his house, what all plants and trees are there, how many cats and dogs are around, and how amazing the family is. Well, the fans are basically brainless, and they would want to watch all the rubbish which is provided by these people instead of looking for genuine people with content. There is always the easy way to glory, and it is achieved by birth – for everyone else, life doesn’t hold that many promises other than genuine absurdity.

Most of the paths are not to be trusted. They can have some bad effects on you.

The case of matrimonials has been strange for quite a long time. It has been more bourgeoisie than the celebrities themselves, as everyone belongs to the rich, aristocratic families which even seems to predate Jesus Christ. Everyone is fair, hardworking and god fearing, with the display pictures photoshopped with a certain amount of skill. One should not be confused about all these suicides and murders happening with husbands and wives, because they were never really meant to be together. They might have started an account at a matrimonial website before finding a random person there, or to avoid this, they might have eloped together. Well, nowadays there are more suicides in love marriages, and that trend has also started.

There are only a few people who can be really successful around here, if you have not studied a professional course. You need to somehow get a government job or jump into politics – both seems to be having more and more scope these days. The other chance for success is to get away from here – it seems that there are more people whom I know in Canada than around here. From the United States to the United Kingdom, and then from Australia to New Zealand, the new favourite place to go and settle down seems to be Canada. It might be easier to ask who is not in Canada these days. Well, where did the other countries go? Are they not interesting anymore?

Well, if I had to go somewhere, I would go to Sri Lanka, Bhutan or some other place which has the same amount of tranquility. I could choose one of the Eastern European countries – Romania, Estonia or the others. I find the busy world which is associated with those much loved countries to be something that will contribute to that absurdity. It is difficult to live in a world which focuses on the monetary benefits and swallows the happiness in return for such benefits. They say that this is a competitive world, but it is not the kind of world that I would appreciate. If you are rich, you can have a Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, a purely bourgeoisie concept, and otherwise, you can sit at home for most of the time, and hope for the expenses to come down. Lockdowns can do such favours, but the meaning of life is once again lost, as you journey towards the more meaningful death.

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***The images used on this blog post were taken by me on my Samsung mobile phone during one of the little journeys for the soul.

TeNy

The Nightmare Fallen

I have nightmares every night. It is as if I belong to them. The nightmare creatures come to me and gives me a wake up call in the middle of the night. Sometimes they create the good dream to which the nightmares are injected, like a plague virus in a needle to slowly transform them to the new form. Otherwise, they come directly, making a stand to my already existing meaningless world, and successfully haunts each and every moment of them. *All images used in this blog post are from the official page of Diablo game.

I have seen the demons in my nightmares for years now, and it hasn’t been a big problem for me. They rarely scare me with their methods, and there is nothing in The Conjuring, Insidious and Annabelle to come into my already dreadful nightmares. There is a lot of variety in the mutant creatures, demons, monsters and even some presence that I had my nightmares about. I have imagined a lot more than just that. But no, they are not the ones who scare me anymore.

A sample demon who used to be pretty much awesome.

A sample red demon of fire who used to be pretty much awesome in my nightmares.

The creatures rarely come into my nightmares these days. May be they have felt that they are not good enough anymore as they have been replaced, as the past and the present run wild like a river in the rainy season, bringing up the old and the new generations of human presence here, troubling the sleep like never before. They are not the ones that can be taken care of, as they exist and show their presence in real life. They are like forever, the hounds of eternity in human form.

They are the ones who advice and scold like bloody cyclops who accidentally got lucky as their sons or daughters somehow got out of the monstrous self, and became the kind of people who have been going on like those politicians of Athens, but are being compared to the Oracle of Delphi. Now, it is them who come in the nightmares, and devil has decided to recall his minions and take the backseat. The uncles and aunties talking nonsense in the nightmares – this is not even a creative nightmare! The years that I have spent in obedience are coming back to hurt me.

My favourite demon; I wish that this one comes and scares me instead.

My favourite demon; I wish that this one comes and scares me instead of the humans.

I didn’t know that getting a job was the most important thing in the world. If I had known that, I would have stopped my studies much earlier. I thought that education was more important, that learning was the significant thing, and the only thing that can help me in future life. But it turns out that nobody really cares about learning, and the only thing that mattered was how much money I could make. When I hope to study and try a few exams in hope to get a job, there is the attempt to take that away; to get a job out thin air – who am I? a sorcererer? I am going to be judged further and further, and everyone around me is a judge.

It is what being jobless brings. These people who blames you twenty four hours a day, seven days a week and three hundred and sixty five days an year. Whenever they come anywhere close to you, there is the realization that they are going to talk about why their sons and daughters are so awesome, and how you are so pathetic and disgusting because you don’t have a job. The result is that you can’t think properly, can’t make any decision with not even able to do what you have been good at, and leaves you in anxiety and fear.

Things used happen in my mind, and now it is becoming more clueless.

Things used happen in my mind, and now it is becoming more clueless and hopeless.

Along with the inability to even read anything with concentration, it leaves you doubtful about your own abilities, not sure what to do, and the end product of these is the nightmares. The end product of the same is sleepless nights; I can’t even remember when was the last night I could go smoothly without the nightmares. They come to me in the nightmares, and wake me up many times a night. Sometimes, there is falling from the bed, and I lose count how many times my head and shoulders hit the floor. Does the shampoo with the same have the ability to any favour? I wonder.

One hope: A possible future peace of mind, and may be I can write a number of tests and get a job.

TeNy