Simona Times: Edition IV

***Kitty Newspaper from the Cat World lead by Simona the little big cat.

Why don’t you give it a try? asks Simona.
After the recent talks about banning Tuna in the cat world in favour of Mackerel, Sardine and Herring, Simona has dared the cat community to do that and suffer the consequences. She has also told the press that this ban is because the name of the cat leader’s former girlfriend was Tina, and not because there is a special love to see more Tuna living in water. Simona was also heard saying that nobody has the right to choose what others eat, and all these decisions for saving Tuna from getting eaten in also with political motives to support those who sells the other types of fish. She has also made it clear that she will always find Tuna and eat it.

Simona shows her tongue in defiance of the latest food ban.

Simona valiantly shows her tongue in defiance of the latest food ban.

Simona works part-time to explain dreams.
As a lot of cats have been experiencing interesting dreams in the recent past, Simona has decided to work part-time, explaining them. She addressed the worried local cat community last day and has assured them that this doesn’t mean the end of the world. She also offered them to explain the dream with one chicken leg taken for the interpretation of each dream. She has promised to continue the job until her stomach is full, and then there will be a break. Those who bring fish along with chicken will have the extra interpretation which is related to the dream that is to be seen on the next day, according to her.

Simona asks for votes in the “cool cat competition”.
In one of those competitions held by the Feline Brotherhood of the South-West Canal, Simona starts at number twenty nine out of one hundred and seventy five entrants. She has asked for each human to vote for her by hugging a cat which looks like her, as one hug is equal to one like on Facebook for her as cats are not on Facebook. She has also asked to feed a cat coloured black and white, and the action will also be counted as one share on Facebook. Simona says that she doesn’t really need this label because she is already the coolest cat around, but she wishes to add it to her resume.

The work on The Great Feline Epic begins.
The cat intellectuals have begun the work on what is supposed to be the greatest epic from the cat world, which is called The Great Feline Epic or the Legend of Cats in Black and White. With one hundred cats working together to achieve on grand aim, the representatives of the movement have told the press that the work will finish in less than a year, just before the building of the Great Feline Statue of Freedom finishes. More cat intellectuals are supposed to join the team from different countries. The work is supposed to be honoured as the one true book of cat myths and adventures.

Simona publishes the new “Wanted” list.
Simona the Kitty, with approval from the Universal Cat Sorority Mission, has published an update to the current “Wanted” List which had only four dogs until then. The extention to the list became a need after Simona failed to catch two cockroaches which successfully evaded her. Simona called for support among the cat team, and after bribing with some extra tuna, successfully managed to get the support of more than half of the members, and has declared the two cocroaches as wanted for treachery. She made it clear that cockroaches are not supposed to escape from cats certified with the titles of Spider Slayers. She has also accused the neighbourhood dog of aiding cockroaches.

Simona was shocked to see the last cockroach escape from her.

Simona was shocked to see the last cockroach escape from her.

Simona calls herself the future of cricket.
After practicing every day with the ping-pong ball, Simona has called herself the future of Cat Cricket. She proclaimed herself the captain ultra-cool and has brought the idea to bring a new Cat Cricket Team for India. “We can always do better than the current Indian cricket team” she said. “They waste their talents, but we work hard because we are cats and there is nothing much to do for us. We have survived the deadliest dogs which wander around the streets and the most evil humans. This will be very easy for us. We shall defeat everyone because we know the secret cricket ingredients” Simona was further heard saying.

Simona does a hunger strike in style.
To make sure that all cats get to live under a roof, Simona started a hunger strike. She has claimed that this “nirahara sathyagraha” has worked and did provide home for twelve more cats before she called it off. But the dogs lead by Simona’s neighbourhood dog Jimmy has claimed that this is pure nonsense. “We have seen her hunger strike. It lasted for only four minutes and fifty seven seconds. What kind of impossible result is achieved with that? This makes no sense, and we demand a probe into this claim” Jimmy was heard commenting. Meanwhile, Simona has said that she does the impossible, and it has become natural to her.

***The images used in this blog post were taken by me on Samsung Galaxy A5.

TeNy

Simona Times: Edition III

***Kitty Newspaper from the Cat World lead by Simona the little big cat.

Simona calls for cat participation in Badminton.
On one of those joint session among cats, dogs and humans, Simona said that she had enough of this discrimination. Humans play Badminton and dogs get to retreive the shuttle. She demanded that the cats be allowed to keep the shuttle, and it is how they can also participate in this game. She also showed proof that Badminton had its real origins in 2322 BC when a villager saw two cats playing with a dead mouse. “But it was soon forgotten because humans are good at pretending that they don’t remember”, she said. “After all, only what the rich do will get all the attention” she further complained. The dogs have decided to support this under condition that they get the right to fetch everything during all games.

I declare this as my property. Nobody touches this :D

I declare this as my property. Nobody touches this except me 😀

Local cats file complaint about the black dog.
“What is wrong with that dog?” a lot of cats have asked the same question. The big black dog which chases everything has become a big nuisance not only for the cats, but also for the humans. The cats say that the dog even chases other dogs and needs to be dealt with. They have also asked for installing security cameras on the road side to make sure that they all get to know the right dog and bring it before the law. Secret cat squads have been assigned the task of saving others from this mystery dog about which nobody knows anything. There are already talks about it being a dangerous hellhound coming from the underworld, but the cat intellectuals have denied it completely.

Let the sleeping cats rest, says Simona.
Simona told the press about how annoying some of the humans are, with no concern for the others. When the cats only sleep about twenty hours a day, humans are wandering around everywhere disturbing the highly intellectual sleeping procedure that the cats follow. “What is it with these humans? Why do they put the music in high volume and disturb even the people living at the nearby houses?” she asked. She also told the press that the humans haven’t been getting any better. But cats have always protected the humans from the evil forces from the other dimensions, she asserted. “The protection from the mice is just one of the things that we do” she said.

I like to sleep like I always sleep, because it is the main program :D

I like to sleep like I always sleep, because it is the main program 😀

Cats go crazy over Catwoman choices.
Uknown sources report a series of fights among the cats over who the better Catwoman is. Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry and Anne Hathaway were the choices, as some of the cats were seen fighting last on the sunshade of an abandoned house. But this report was declared rubbish by Simona who made it clear that cats don’t need a Catwoman to show that they are awesome, even though they appreciated the fact that they also get the equal treatment when little insects like spiders and ants got their own superheroes too. Simona has also said that she is ready to play the role of Catwoman if the situation demanded. She did suggest that Womancat was a better title too.

Cat transport should develop more, adds Simona.
During the press conference about the sleeping cats, Simona also asserted that the necessary steps should be taken to make sure that the feline gets the advantanges of good transportation facilities. Nowadays, cats have developed into a superior species and they will requre a lot of traveling to display their skills. But due to the heavy traffic on the roads, and some hostile humans, it has been too difficult. She has asked the Ministry of Road Transport and Highways to provide the cats with a separate route or free travel in at least few of the cars, buses and trucks on the top. The betterment of the cat citizens meant the development of the nation as a whole, she said.

Start the car, human. Lets go and have some fish for lunch ;)

Start the car, my dear human. Lets go and have some fish for lunch 😉

Ban Cats and Dogs; Team Cat Power asks.
The new radical kittenist group, Team Cat Power asks for banning both Cats and Dogs and its sequel Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore because both of them shows cats in a bad light, and hails dogs as heroes. The group has send a message to the humans that they will know the value of cats after being bitten by stray dogs. “The negative reviews for the sequel was just the beginning of the end for such discrimination, and we are thankful to the human reviewers who voted agains that movie” the leader of the group added. But they have not backed away from the protests, and are planning to do strike on the sunshades of random houses.

Is the Cheshire Cat Day a possibility?
26th November was the day on which Alice in Wonderland was published by the English writer Charles Dodgson under the pseudonym Lewis Carroll. But the cats basically know only one person from that novel because they have never cared about the other characters in the work. The big grin has been considered as a classic moment and something of great glory for the cats all around the globe. So, the cats are busy campaigning for this big day to be declared as the official Cheshire Cat Day in honour of the greatest cat character in the history of literature as they see it. They have often compared Cheshire Cat to the status of something similar to Dracula among vampires.

***The images used in this blog post were taken by me on my Asus Zenfone 5.

TeNy

Before Simona: Rewind

Simona the Kitty who has grown up to be Simona the Little Big Cat has had the longest stay here and has remained the longest non-movie inspiration for this blog. But there was a time before Simona when there were other cats who became short time inspirations. I have mentioned a few of them before, but I will talk about them in detail here. This post is actually supported by Simona, and there is no cat jealousy involved here – Simona knows none of the deadly sins and she is very much interested in appreciation of other cats.

Simona’s direct predecessor was Zeezee, the local kitten who went missing. She was of almost Simona’s age as of now when she was gone. She wasn’t really that much of a lover of humans, and never allowed anyone to get at the touching distance, while Simona didn’t mind the hand shakes, leg shakes or even head shakes. She was still a fine hunter of spiders, lizards and cockroaches. She loved Tiger biscuits in milk, and sitting on the Honda Dio was a clear priority. [Hometown: Perumbavoor]

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The Badminton Kitty was a well known figure all around the flat. This one was a lover of Badminton and was always there when a game was happening on the court. Whenever the shuttle sailed away from the humans, this one was ready to pounce and check for the quality. The kitty also made sure to pretend to be the official ball boy by running across between the points – may be this one wanted to have a game, but never really managed to the big cat as a car took its life. [Hometown: Aluva/Alwaye]

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The Great Cat of the Ancestral Lands was not that great, even though it was there whenever I visited the place – until some years ago. This one used to have only one priority, which was food, and sometimes even chased hens for no reason. It is not found any more, and the sad thing is that there has been no replacement even after these many years. May be there is no land for cats there? After all, the dogs are the ones who have most of the fun. Simona should complain to her big cat brothers. [Hometown: Kothamangalam]

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This Black Cat is the kind of cat that everybody should have. I have always preferred the black cats because the vampire team got special love for them. Well, this one was very much loved by the kids of the flat, and as they were sad about the demise of the white kitten of the Badminton earlier, they treated this one with a lot of milk every day. But this one suffered the same fate as the Badminton Kitty and jumped in front of a car to end the last of its nine lives. [Hometown: Aluva/Alwaye]

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The Mall Kitty was one of its kind. We haven’t known it for long, but this one was a real entertainer. We did wonder how long it will last considering the traffic around that junction, but the Mall Kitty was wandering around the Lulu Mall finding the food and also jumping around, as if coming right out of circus. This one followed many people, came back to the original place, thought for a few seconds, put its head inside somewhere and returned to its original position. [Hometown: Edappally]

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Among the cats before Simona, there are two who have been there for more time combined. It is the mother and son team which has been the champions of my cat world for a very long time. They belong to the Muvattupuzha area at the home of my aunty. They have been the first case of entertaining cats for me, and you need to check the eyes of the smaller one – he is a big cat now, but his eyes are special; of different colours. The mother cat is no more, but the son is still there, to be the awesome odd-eyed cat. [Hometown: Muvattupuzha]

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***All photos of cats were taken by me only.

Happy Independence Day! 🙂

TeNy

Simona Times: Edition II

***Kitty Newspaper from the Cat World lead by Simona the little big cat.

Simona tells the press about what she should be called.
Throughout the press meet, she was called Simona the Kitty, and the Little One and it didn’t go well with the self-proclaimed grown up cat. Simona has told the journalists that it has been very difficult being called little one, kitten or kitty. It makes her feel very small and she doesn’t want to considered the little one by both humans and cats. As she is still not that big enough, she has accepted to be called Simona the little big cat, instead of Simona the kitty. She has informed the different cat groups and organizations to accept that change. A number of other cats have also asked for similar things to be added to their names as the trend has already started.

Simona stares at a journalist who calls her the little kitty.

Simona stares at a journalist who calls her the cute little Simona kitty.

Remake Drishyam for cats; movie loving felines file petition.
There are a good number of movie loving cats in this world, and the same has been proven by a new gang of cats. The petition was initiated by Simona who gave them that idea, and she has also promised moral support for the same. All the cats have heard about Drishyam so many times until the recent Hindi remake and know that there are five versions of the same, which has inspired them to ask for another version for the cats. The interesting thing about this exclusive news is that some of the big cats like lions, tigers, jaguars, leopards, cheetahs and cougars have also decided to sign the petition if their smaller feline brothers and sisters can bring it to the wilderness and the zoos. The cinema lovers have expressed satisfaction over the fantastic response.

Cat gang asks for the title, the Spider-Slayer.
Simona has just recently finished murdering one hundred insects in total, out of which, fifty percent are spiders. She has displayed special skills in catching spiders, cockroaches and even lizards, even though humans have rarely recognized it. Due to the same reason, she has asked for the title, the Spider-Slayer and a memento in the shape of a tuna or sardine to be provided to the cats thanking them for their service. She has shown the statistics that the number of spiders and cockroaches in households has reduced significantly, and lizards have mostly boycotted homes because of the cat efforts. She asks humans to show some appreciation for the free service that they are receiving.

Cats demand special ships to the United States.
There is no other cat who has been loved by the cats of the area than the Grumpy Cat whom they address as Sir Tardar Sauce. Yesterday, a number of cats gathered outside the town hall and demanded for special ships for them to see their hero and demigod. They have also asked for a special subsidy for the same, as this journey also has a certain religious and educational significance. A lot of cats have also decided to learn sculpture so that an image of the great celebrity cat could be created for them. They have threatened the Municipal Chairman that they will talk about this to his wife who is a big animal lover having two cats at her ancestral home.

Lift the ban, asks a furious Simona.
A very angry Simona and her followers disrupted the monthly cat meetings today, hearing news about the porn ban as prawn ban. She said that just like there was news about beef ban at some part of the countrty, the anti-cat government is intentionally trying to deprive the cats off their food items. She added that if the cat-kind won’t protest right now, the next ban will be on chicken and soon they will be left with no option but to eat grass. She said that this is an indirect attack on the cat kind, unlike the direct one which happens in Australia. She has asked for a cat strike, the first feline harthal ever on a day next week. Even after knowing the correct spelling, she has decided to continue with the strike in support of freedom.

Simona's first expression when she heard that there was a prawn ban.

Simona’s first expression when she heard that there was a prawn ban.

Cats decide to team up with cows temporarily.
Despite the common disagreement which the two teams have had about banning beef, cats and cows have decided to come up with a union intended for providing cats with fresh milk rather than the packet milk which the humans provide. As the cats demand healthier diet, the cows have agreed to the same because the incidents related to stray dog attacks on the cattle has been very high. A veteran cat team of ten will be assigned to guard each cow. An extension of the same, a certain lower range protection will be given to the bulls who demand the same. The cats hope to come up with similar agreements with buffalloes and goats and are training in special martial arts.

Cat extremists call for a “go back to Persia movement”.
Worried about the rising number of Persian cats in the houses, some of the local cats have called for a “go back to Persia movement” and has said that those humans who don’t like it can also go to Persia. One of the cats were heard quoting “Why are they here? They don’t belong here. We are the true Indian nationalist cats. Some of these cats are even called Himalayan? They can’t do that. The Himalayas belong to us only. They should rename these cats are Damavand, Kholeno or something else”. But Simona has declared these ideas as rubbish, and has told the media that there is no need to listen to these extremists because all cats are equal, it is towards this equality that she and her team has been moving.

***The images used in this blog post were taken by me on my Asus Zenfone 5.

TeNy