There are many types of truth in this world, and among them, the strongest ones might be the one which you want to hear and those which you want to avoid hearing at any cost. The strength of both of these lies in our perception of that truth. There are times when we can’t live with that truth, and at some other times, we can’t live without it. But knowing and accepting the truth is something that makes our lives better, most of the time. It makes us free, and often transforms us into better people.
I believed in God without the existentialist, absurdist, nihilist thoughts at that time – they came to me later with and after MA English. My thoughts about the world was not that complicated; I loved just the usual things and tried to stick with the crowd at that time. So, I wasn’t sure that I was there at the right place when I took the Commerce-Mathematics group for my Plus Two at a CBSE school, but still felt that God has put me at the right place, and if things needed to change, it will.
So, it was one of those days when I went to the school early morning at six when the school bus came to pick the sleepy me and bring me to the distant educational institution which had me in trouble. By that time, I had changed my stream and found that Commerce-Mathematics could never work even in the best scenario, and may be it can work with Commerce-Computer because Mathematics has always been the biggest evil of all times. But that didn’t do much good, because the true evil was something else.
Evil came in another form at that time, using the mask of Accountancy. I was sure that it sent me to sleep more than any other. Mathematics used to make me fall asleep, but it was in parts. This one actually sent me to sleep with such consistency that I have nightmares about this subject in the class. I used to say the definition of Accounting in sleep at that time, and still continues to remember that one particular definition. I wished that I could run away, but the school was located at some strange place from where there was no direct bus home.
The Accountancy teacher at that time knew that there was something wrong with me, and I was the one true zombie in the class while she was teaching, even though I never accepted that. I was determined to learn Accountancy by heart and not let it go, even though my habit of staying up late at night and leaving early for school had made Fried Rice out of my brain, and I was often the walking dead, and the feeling was very strong during the Accountancy classes.
My mother had asked me earlier to stop this meaningless program and return so that we can try at some State syllabus school which starts at 10 AM and also leave this Accountancy behind because she herself is unable to make me understand it despite working at a bank. But I decided to go on with the daily sleepy party until something which my Accountancy teacher said made a point in my zombified mind. I still can’t figure out most of it because I was sleepier than being cursed with sleep. It went through the fog of sleepiness and reached the core; #SachchiAdvice was there.
She was sure that I didn’t like this at all; even though, there were others who scored lesser than me, it was only me who had absolutely no interest in this, and had come to sleep at class and then manage something to do just okay during the tests. My interest was at somewhere else, and I finally decided to get out of my sleepy school days and join another school with Science-Computer, but it was not my destination either. Still, I managed to survive there, and in the end, be the Plus Two graduate in science stream, and then later cut that connection too!
***The images used in this blog post were taken on my Sony Cybershot camera by me.