The Thing About Relatives

There is something about relatives that we will never understand. Yes, there are those topics related to getting a job, finding oneself in matrimony and others, but this is more about being right and logical. Here are a certain examples of strange logic that I have found among them. The surprising thing that this logic is applied so much that I had to wonder if it is passed on to others through wind and water. Maybe it is a kind of infection, like what that zombie apocalypse brings as we have seen in Resident Evil and Warm Bodies.

We are doing you a favour by coming to stay at your place: I actually heard this one first when I was a child. Then I heard it again and then again. There were people coming around because they had to attend a course from our place, or because they had to attend exams or try some job. But the logic here is that they were coming to look after me and some others were going to give company to the little me. I should have been very desperate for company according to these ideas, but I don’t remember much of being given company – oh there was someone, and that one was a bloody video game.

Some of these people might even remember this from a long time ago. Many years later, these people are going to say that he or she had stayed with you and took care of you. We won’t even remember and they will ask us to do something for them just because they stayed with us. Share my computer, share my internet and share my food, and this is going to be like doing a favour for me, right? Help should be unconditional. There are a few people with whom they can try the same thing – the aliens at Uranus, the zombies asleep in the graveyards, the dinosaurs at Jurassic Park and the sweet little crocodiles from Lake Placid.

When waterfalls are around, rocks become more of a thing of beauty, right?

Maybe the journeys are not that smooth – but people are often too intolerable!

We are doing you another favour by letting you stay at our place: Okay, this is somewhat true, especially when we make that choice to start from there to attend a function far away, or maybe even to attend exams. But I haven’t used any relatives’ place as base for such a thing. I have tried to avoid staying at any place because this is how some people are going to see things. I have been thinking why I should bother some relative by giving him or her trouble. Yes, there are people who really want us to stay, and I have stayed at a few places because the insisted, but generally that is not the case.

You should help us because you will need our help in the future: The great oracles of these lands! They never really lose their charm, do they? I wonder if they take oracles at Delphi nowadays too so that these people can be transported there. Their special powers are also forever because they had once predicted that I am not going to finish even my graduation; forget the post graduation. They are continuing to make such predictions, and I hear them being experts in the same. This prediction about me needing their help has been made long ago, and I don’t usually see them ready for help.

But I decided to provide help in return for a cup of tea; why should I help them because there is a chance that they might help me later? Isn’t helping our friends and relatives what we should do anyway? Still, I won’t be able to ask these people related to even those little things. What makes me wonder is why they can’t even give one share to a post of mine? I asked them to share my review of Charlie, and nothing happened. Yes, they have time only share the posts about whatever makes no sense along with those silly jokes.

As you look far far away, what is it that you see?

As you look far far away, what is it that you see other than conditional help?

You are to provide us some help because we are going to be rich: Some people are really going to touch the clouds in the next few years because they so. Some of them have already touched the clouds just because of being married and having job. Some of these people are already helping each other because they think that the other person is going to make it huge and earn a lot, along with marrying someone from a rich family. Such great expectations there – it is a shame that people are nice to others just because the other person is going to have a lot of money in the future!

***The images used in this blog post were taken by me on my Sony Cybershot DSC-W310.

TeNy

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Official Prayer Time

Vampire Owl: My dear vampire brethren, lets take this opportunity to spend some time in prayer. We know that you are attacked by the evil forces from both outside and inside, and there is the need for prayer to get rid of them. Even as we are basically immortal, we are going to be under the same law according to which God has created humans, angels and devils. So, each of you rise and say this prayer which will be helpful in feeling the truth of life, and it is also helpful to those who are not here with us. The credit for this particular edition goes to the Vampire Bat.

“Thank you God for waking us on this day. It is a beautiful day. Life still seems to have no meaning, but there is a lot of time for finding the existence of that meaning; as much as you allow it. So bless us on this day by getting rid of those relatives who have become the shadow of worthlessness on us. It might be a difficult task because they pretend to pray a lot, and while doing the same, they end up as actually giving some prayers. But as you can see into their hearts, it will be quite easy for you to come up with a decision; you know their souls and the darkness in them. We are also seeing through the murkiness.

HT (1)

I hope that you will start by putting some effulgence in the minds of those uncles who are always boasting about their children. We have always been friends with these people because they were our cousin-brothers and cousin-sisters. But the relationship has been going awry and might reach a state of pitiable disaster unless something is done about the ridiculous talk done by these uncles. There is so much boasting of their own children and the degradation of the others going on around that it will only bring a radical animosity among the cousins. After all, there is a limit to everything.

We also love the fact that our cousins have come up with good achievements, whether it is about getting a job with a high salary, buying some new asset, having a respectable position in the society or marrying an incredibly rich person. It is always good to have friends and relatives at high places, and we are only proud of them. But the problem comes when these uncles who make the vain father figure, comes to attack us for not having what their children got. By degrading us and praising their sons and daughters, they create that cloud of acrimony which stays and only gets worse as time passes.

The advice that they provide is even more unendurable, as it is absolutely clear that they know nothing about us or what we have studied. With their pathetic knowledge of the world except for the little well in which they live with their tailless amphibian kind of contacts, they come to our homes to provide their nonsense. As we are not against good advice and positive opinions, we sometimes get fooled and end up agreeing to it, and the result is that our situation gets further worse. We just can’t help it and we really needs to be saved from them and their pathetic advice which they force upon us.

HT (2)

It is from these shameless people that we need to be saved, O Lord. It is from this situation that we need redemption, unless it is indirectly a part of our absolution. We haven’t known these in the form of concomitant worries in the path of our life, dear Lord. So, please save us from the iniquitous environment that surrounds us, for it devours any kind of effervescence that we are struggling to keep for ourselves. We are unable to keep ourselves away from the perpetual trepidation that surrounds us and refuses to let us go. We need to escape, but we don’t want to run away.

We are not asking for too much, O Lord. Just make sure that these uncles stay with their lovely children. Take them to their sweet, innocent off-springs for at least one week a month or three months an year. It will be better if you take them and keep these people there for their sweet little eternity. If their children are so awesome, the parents should also be with them and show us the example of a perfect family. Without doing that, staying away from them and the children rarely coming home, they have no right to criticize those sons who stay with their parents and a family taking care of each other. Isn’t this the deadly sin of envy, my Lord? Save us from these deadly sinners”.

***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of the movie, Hotel Transylvania.

TeNy

Theory of Relative-IT

So many years have passed since Albert Einstein came up with that theory of relativity, and even now it is thrown at us through the science fiction movies like Interstellar. Remember those theories that we hated in Physics? Well, I don’t usually remember the theories that I hate, especially belonging to Physics and Mathematics, but here is one exception, as for me, it becomes more of a theory of Philosophy than Physics.

This different thing, the new derivative is called the Theory of Relative-IT. This theory brings to light a problem rather than bringing a solution to anything. It acknowledges the trouble of the common man, the person who hasn’t studied IT, but has got many relatives in that field. The concepts introduced by the Theory of Relative-IT includes the following, but is not limited to them, and are open to further additions:

1. Measurements of various qualities of a person are dependent on the velocities of older observers. In particular, it includes the parents of those working in the IT field.

2. All other courses (not including medicine and other engineering fields) should be combined together and should be considered inferior to IT.

3. The power of IT is nonetheless beyond all comparisons, and is always the most superior thing, considered with that much respect as one would have for medicine.

The light is only for the IT, not for us (taken on my DSC W310)

The light is reserved only for the IT, not applicable for us (taken on my DSC W310)

Applications of the Theory in human life (Warning: Fictional situations and parts of my nightmares included):

Aunt no.1: Your life is wasted because you didn’t study engineering like my son. Look how well he is doing. See the girl in the neighbourhood with twenty five back papers. Even she is doing so well. After all, she is an engineer too.

And I remembered the Theory of Relative-IT, and that it was beginning to affect me like garlic on a vampire. But the silver bullets and the stake through the heart are yet to arrive. I am pretty sure that even that Oracle of Delphi could have predicted this.

Uncle no.1: You have one big fault.

I wondered what I was doing so wrong, and I thought it was going to make me a better person; but then the words of wisdom came out.

Uncle no.1 (continues): You didn’t study engineering. So you don’t have a job. It is ruining you right there. You should have studied engineering, and even if you had back papers, you would have had a job by now. My son already had two jobs in the IT field and is not at his third.

Uncle no.2: See, everyone including your cousins younger than you are now married. You should have tried engineering or medicine, and you would have been working and married by now. Why would someone study arts? It is rubbish. Do you know how ridiculous it is when the elder cousins get married before you do?

Uncle no.3: May be you should study BEd. It is your only hope now. Then, may be you can somehow get into a low class school and teach the students. But even then, you shouldn’t have taken language. Anybody can teach language. Social science is so stupid. You should have taken Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Zoology or Botony even in that case.

Aunt no.2: Why should he do anything now. It is quite certain that he won’t get a job now. He will simply waste his time, thats all he can do with a Masters in English. He should do some business instead. If he was any good, he would have gone for engineering or medicine. He doesn’t even have an MBA. Everyone has an MBA. What is it that he can do that engineers can’t?

Uncle no.4: How can we blame him though? We are all just average and below average people in intellect. It is a great achievement that we have engineers in our family. Nobody thought that it was possible. He will never get a job, and will remain just another post-graduate of no use. I think we should live with it and concentrate on getting our engineers married to high families so that we will have good connections with big, respected, rich families.

Aunt no.3: This is exactly what we should do. Lets put the profiles of our engineers in the matrimony websites and get them married. After all, only engineers are worthy people. Who cares about the rest. Look at these people studying B.Com, BSW and BBA – whats the point? Lets make sure that the families that we find also have enough people in the IT field. A certain number of doctors will also be nice. It doesn’t matter if they are good or bad, no problem if they are anti-social; they just need to be of these fields.

It is illuminated life for everyone except me (taken on my DSC W310)

It is a sample of illuminated life for everyone except me (taken on my DSC W310)

Dad: There are so many people in the IT field that I know. I am proud of all of them. They are so awesome. They are so brilliant. I should go to their houses and congratulate them every-time they come home. They should be given the hero’s welcome every time they arrive at the railway station. They are the only intelligent people in our family because they belong to the IT field. Why would anybody study anything else?

This is indeed why Suarez bites people. This is also why aliens won’t talk to us. This means we are no longer the favourites of the Divine One. This is also a reason for Uncle Dracula not to retire from his biting business. My prayer to God these days is this: “Never provide a good person who takes a graduation in the arts subjects with a relative who is in the IT field”. The relative-IT is a dangerous and terrible situation. It is disappointing and makes you hopeless. It makes you not want to live life like you should. It is like putting ice in a fire-breathing dragon’s mouth. I wonder what would Albert Einstein say about this Theory of Relative-IT.

TeNy