“Vampire Alert! Vampire Alert!” the special alarms came up with the scary words which were not usual for the vampire team. It was meant to declare the highest level of emergency, like a werewolf attack, zombie raid, elf happiness, goblin cricket matches or it could be about something missing from the blood collection. There was also the special immortal music that accompanied the same. The team of vampires rushed to the main hall to find Dracula lying on the floor with his arms covering his mouth.
“What happened to him?” asked the Vampire Panda.
“Is Uncle Dracula dead? Can I mourn his death right now? I have this new selfie stick and may be I can start using this with his dead body – what do you think?” asked the Vampire Hamster.
“I think that his fangs are gone. Then, I can take over as the new vampire chief because I have strong battle claws. Let him retire” said the Vampire Owl.
“How can you take over? I am the one true symbol of vampirism. I even have crowned teeth, and so I should be crowned as the Lord Protector of all Vampires and some Zombies of the Realm” said the Vampire Bat.
“What are you talking about here? I am not dead, and I got my fangs, you idiots” screamed Dracula with his arms over his mouth.
“Oh! We are very much relieved about this disappointment, dear uncle” said the Vampire Owl.
“I was just watching this movie and there were more commercials than movie. It was a festival special movie for the humans stretched to five hours, and watching all these pathetic commercials made me bite my own teeth and one of them on the left side has just fallen down. I called our official vampire dentist and he has recommended a root canal because the teeth are very old. This is actually depressing because I am now the first elder vampire in the history to have a root canal. All these because of the advertisements” Dracula added.
“Don’t worry, uncle. I am a vampire with root canal. But tell us more about the advertisements” said the Vampire Bat.
“There was this advertisement in which humans were trying to look pale, and they were using a magic cream for the purpose. It says that having white skin is very important for having confidence and progressing in life. Only white people get good alliances in marriage and also high level jobs according to them”.
“What? Didn’t we ban that advertisement here? We are sorry, Uncle Dracula. We had banned those racist commercials, but it seems that these people managed to sneak in a few by bribing our zombie guards” informed the Vampire Owl.
“Then there were those jewellery commercials. There were so many of them and I was shocked to know how much these silly mortals value the yellow metal. It was another depressing thing, and I wondered why we are not so interested in that thing. I felt that they will keep killing each other for the same – shocking, isn’t it?” asked Dracula.
“Just like the Lich Queen, I guess” remarked the Vampire Panda.
“I also watched a few commercials in which people were doing strange things, like trying to die, but they don’t, and then they drink something which looks like chemical and still they don’t die. What is wrong with these people? May be some humans are immortal too” said Dracula.
“I know that one. I had asked Lady Death why they never died” said the Vampire Hamster.
“And then people studying at some place called IIN where they start hotels when they can’t study hotel management. Do they start a crisis if they can’t study crisis management? There is the teacher who wants to use internet instead of books and there is a village where women don’t go to college, but proudly stays at home with mobile phones. Thank God that we use telepathy and not telephones here”.
“These are old commercials. These humans bring these things late here, and still they are the ones outdated” said the Vampire Bat.
“But now you will go to the dentist. You have to get the root canal done” said the Vampire Owl.
“We should just let a druid prepare a magic potion and the remaining tooth will just come out and pain will disappear” suggested Dracula.
“You mean android?” asked the Vampire Hamster.
“Never mind. Damned be those television commercials” replied Dracula.
***The images used in this blog post are from the Official Facebook Page of the movie, Hotel Transylvania.