“We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
― Ulysses (Lord Tennyson)
Alfred, Lord Tennyson – that name itself had a lot to do with my life. I was often asked about by name by my English teachers, and they have always loved my name while I was in school. I never really realized that it would mean that I could be doing a degree and also the post-graduation in English Language and Literature, but yes, even though late, I did realize what I was supposed to do. Even then the name helped; having the same name as the greatest poet of an era and the longest reigning Poet Laureate has its advantages.
To add to it, I do love his works, and my favourite among them is Ulysses which I studied more than once, and read so many times – then there is this quote “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. Well, it is a nice quote, but among those which I want to talk about and wish to relate with life includes most of the lines in Ulysses rather than anything else. Among them, the one I have mentioned here has a lot more significance, at least for this period of my life.
The quote is about something that we all face, about not being good as we used to be. I have always thought about the same. I am sure that as of now, I am able to write better and with more variety than I used to, just an year ago. I am able to write about things that I never thought I would write about. Two years ago, when I began my other blog with the pen name, The Vampire Bat, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Why The Vampire Bat? I had no idea. But then things got better. I never knew I could bring anything new to my writing style.
But there are things with which I am not getting any better. They include most of the things which are not related to writing. I know that I won’t have the stamina to play more than one singles game in Badminton if I give it a try after such a long time. I know that I might not be able to bowl two consecutive deliveries without sending one for a wide. I also know that I might not have the energy to withstand one single football game any more. I am not that good, and I am not of that strength as I was when I was doing by degree.
I know that I don’t understand things that well as I used to, and I feel that I won’t be able to memorize things that well. I keep having that feeling that I have done with reading, studying and all; and even when writing about a movie, I feel that I might not be able to do justice. When I understand that almost everyone that I know from my college got a job and a good number of them are married, I do feel that I am trailing, and when I get to do one of these things, I won’t be as good as they are now, because I will be tired and older.
I am always reminded of the same, by one person or the other, being the oldest person without a job, and about the rating in the marriage-alliance market going down as I get older. The strength of that old days – we all miss them, and I miss my friends from those wonderful days too. I also feel made weak by time and fate, but I hope to do well, and overcome the weaknesses that have come upon me. I am surrounded by two things, immortality of one world which I love and the mortality of the other which I have to embrace.
I cannot take a step backward, not at this period of time. May be we can dig through the dead end. There are people who want me to, and events which are fair enough to make that call for me. Inspired by my favourite single line of all-time, “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield”, I still leave myself with some hope for miracles, and at the same time keep doing what I hope that I can do well till the end end of time. In the name of the great poet with whom I shares my name, it might really be depressing for his soul if I gave up. Ulysses had a sea, and I have an ocean. But I am still younger. The last times were used to inspire athletes for London Olympics 2012, so why can’t it continue to do so for me?
***The images used in this blog post are from the game Age of Empires III which I used to play.
I have been nominated by Kiran, at https://drkiranacharya.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/day-three-quote-challenge, for the three day quote challenge. Thanks for the tag 🙂
Rules for the challenge:
- Post one of your favourite quotes (different quote on each day) on three days. The quote can be from your favourite book, author, or your own.
- Nominate three bloggers to challenge them.
- Thank the blogger, who nominated you.
For my day two, I nominate my blogger friends: