Most of the times, there is more than one choice in our life; and it matters how those decisions are taken. All the time, the self-proclaimed people keeps asking us to take decisions from the mind instead of the heart. It has always been the brain who got more attention, and in the end, we wonder if the right decision was taken when it involved the brain – if the heart could have done better? Isn’t the brain getting too much attention in a word which needs more empathy an compassion?
It has never been easy to listen to the heart in our society which looks only for the winners. There have been better times for the heart in the later stages of my life, but not during those earlier times when I was at school. Yes, the first graduation course was also a decision of the mind which had to be changed, but the school days were not so different either. There was no option to choose from the heart – none of us had the choice; no man or woman had a real choice at that time.
Yes, there were men who made the choice, but I don’t consider them as my role-models. As far as my little universe was considered, none of them were part of the same. All my friends as well as myself were caught in this option to make no real choice. We were forced to join a random graduation related to the IT field which was at its full power during that time, even though things were beginning to somewhat come down by the time the course was finishing.
Therefore, the decision to join BCA was made out of the mind, because it was the perfect and absolutely sane decision at that time. Everyone else had been spending time looking for those engineering colleges, and doing BCA meant that less money was to be spent and still with an MCA added to the degree, I could be none less than an engineer and also a post-graduate, thus one step forward. Yes, I had qualified in the Kerala Engineering Entrance Examinations of that time just with my guess work, but BCA and MCA combination seemed better.
It was never the time of the heart. Such times had no place for the heart, because the aim of the society was to make an engineer out of even zombies. Each and every parent wanted to say that the son or daughter was studying for engineering. It hasn’t changed much even now, and the coconut trees are complaining that there are more engineers than them, leading to a change in demographics which can be dangerous to the relationship between humans and the trees of the state.
I never had good times with BCA, unless you want to mention sleeping in the classes and never going to the college for days as “good times”. This meant that the brain was rather the selfish and the greedy one, making choices out of having no real choice, and calling it a bloody choice even without an existence. Brain had kept telling that this is still awesome, and you could go on saying to the people that you are doing BCA, thus making everyone happy. But the heart had other ideas.
On one of those rainy days, supported by the beauty and serenity of the monsoon, I decided to end this from the bottom of my heart. There was no point in it, and the same was supported by my mother. Even though the majority was still against this decision and wanted to go with the mind, once again taking my choice out of me, I decided against listening to the same people who stopped my heart from making decisions. I made the decision to quit BCA and take a graduation in BA English and Literature – that felt awesome and it was a dil ki deal!
***The images used in this blog post were taken by me on my Sony Cybershot DSC-W310 and Samsung Star Duos.