The vampires were having a tough discussion just outside the Dracula Castle, as the Vampire Bat, the Vampire Owl and the Vampire Snake were present with Uncle Dracula.
“No, not even in the moonlight, said Uncle Dracula. “You are not even supposed to litter in the sunlight, and then how can you litter in the awesome moonlight which is more precious to us vampires?” asked Dracula.
“But it was the Halloween moonlight with cool vampire people all around, and I was drunk. Really, really drunk” said the Vampire Snake.
“He is a snake with special venomous spit superpower. Even if he doesn’t throw waste around, how can you ask him not to spit?” asked the Vampire Owl.
“Because all of you have taken the pledge to keep the Dracula Castle and its premises clean. Being drunk is not an excuse. Nothing is an excuse” screamed Dracula.
“But the Mummy spat over that tree on the side of the road, and you don’t want to know what the local werewolves do. The ghosts of the living dead did something even worse” said the Vampire Snake.
“They do not belong to the vampire category, and won’t come under me. The Mummy is level three desert catgeory. They don’t even come inside the castle. Our current collaboration is with the zombies. Cleanliness begins at home. This is our vampire ancestral home. Do you understand the highly intellectual and vampirically superior words of unlimited wisdom which come out of my mouth?” yelled Dracula.
“Yes, listen to Uncle Dracula. If he raises his blood pressure too much at this age, we might have no uncle, and I might inherit this castle. I will end up being so rich and may be construct a tennis court on the front right corner and the statue of myself holding a tea cup on the left side” added the Vampire Bat.
“What? Wait, no. I am not raising my blood pressure. I am just asking this new vampire apprentice whom you brought from that local tea shop to behave and be a good citizen rather than being a Great Litterburg” said Dracula.
“But I promise not to litter again” said the Vampire Snake.
“See, he is a good vampire apprentice” added the Vampire Bat.
“Or I shall feed him to the snakes in the pond” threatened Dracula.
“But he is the Vampire Snake. What is the point in putting him with normal snakes?” asked the Vampire Owl.
“Oh, yes. I meant the crocodiles. Those little crocodiles that I have like the early villains of cinema. I will throw him to the crocodile pound and clap once, laughing loudly like an awesome villain. Damn, I am really getting old; my memory is failing me” Dracula made it clear.
“Thank you, great old vampire lord” said the Vampire Snake while taking a bow.
“See, this is why I bite people. Always use the trash can. Littering is bad. By doing such things, you are working against the environment as well as your nation. And for the sake of each and every living vampire, please don’t spit” advised Dracula.
“As if he doesn’t already have enough reasons” murmered the Vampire Owl.
“I have heard that he is going to act in a commerical against drinking and smoking, plus supporting care for stray dogs by making them join the werewolves. He is into social causes now” whispered the Vampire Bat.
“We were never the real villains, right?” asked the Vampire Owl.
“Why? No, never. We are not even remotely evil; just see these litterbugs and the rest of the minions of the real dark world. Uncle Dracula can’t even fly around in the invisible mode these days with people leople littering from their vehicles” added the Vampire Bat.
“We vampires realize this. When will the humans understand the same?” wondered the Vampire Owl.
This blog post at The Tea Cerebrations is for the Happy Hours Campaign from The Times of India in association with Indiblogger. It is written as a part of TOI’s “The Great Indian”, a humorous initiative for a better India; this time on “The Great Indian Litterbug” who considers littering as a birth right – the kind of people that we see almost everywhere in India. Please check the following link for further details of this funny and thought-provoking campaign: http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/
*The images used in this blog post are from the official Facebook Page of The Great Indian, meant to support this work.